A Sparrow's Escape

"Escape" (1991)

2011-12-11T19:54:00.000-08:00

“Escape,” a short story written by Su Tong, describes the tragic life of a poor man who spends the majority of his life trying desperately to escape – to escape family, to escape obligations, to escape living, to simply escape – and even when death is only a footstep away, he still yearns for this release. Chen Sanmai’s desire and weakness not only leads him to his ultimate demise but also damages the life and spirit of his wife, who remains nameless throughout the tale. Their family saga closely depicts how helpless and dysfunctional humans are as they are caught up and blinded by their innermost obsessions. Su Tong does not hesitate to reveal the vulnerability and depravity of his characters to show the ugliness and conflicts of people and their effects.

Escapes mar the past of Chen Sanmai. There seems to be nothing that he did not run away from, but every escape seems to only lead to horrible results. Sanmai “ran away when [his family] asked him to eat; he ran away when [his family] asked him to take a bath…when he grew up and [his family] found him a wife, he still ran away.”

He runs to the city but has to leave when he catches a horrible disease. He leaves his home quickly after his return and is forced to join the army out of sheer self-preservation, and it is because of self-preservation that causes him to leave the army to return home. And again, it is self-preservation that makes him believe that he had to leave home or else he will die in the hands of soldiers hunting for deserters like him. Even as his wife finally finds him in his last hiding place by his deathbed, he is still waiting and staring with wishfully of his kites with broken strings that are trapped on trees.

Chen Sanmai portrays the struggles and despairs of a man who is suffocated by society’s restrictions and demands. This can be seen throughout his long history of escapes from the orders and wills of his parents, from his abandonment of his wife, and from his desertion of his military obligations.

He can never do what he wants. He is trapped even in his home. The home, supposedly a place of comfort, only acts as a further entrapment on his life and self. There is no freedom anywhere. There is no genuine control over one’s life. Under such pressures of conformity, the only thing that Sanmai wants to do and can do is to run and escape, but he cannot even do that. He cannot escape.

Su Tong raises an extremely realistic issue through his character concerning the problem of the self in Chinese society. What does it mean to be an individual living in China during the time of the 1950s and beyond? What are the consequences of a man who yearns so hard to lead his own life and to release himself? Through the instance of Sanmai, then perhaps there is no release in life on this earth. The only release is through death – the ultimate release from life.

Chen Senmai’s kites are the representation of his desperate hopes and dreams of being free. In his eyes, they are magical. They symbolize the happiness that fate will not allow him to have. As the sites’ strings snap in the wind, their fates seem to be “unpredictable and ever-changing.” As the end of the story approaches, as the end of Chen Senmai approaches, the ends of the kites are revealed that they are caught by the trees in a forest of nature. Perhaps the kites will never be freed from the hands of their foes or perhaps they will, but Chen Senmai will never be able to see them freed, just as he was never freed.

“If I ran to the ends of the earth, I could never escape.’ Those were my uncle [Chen Senmai’s] last words.”No other title would be as fitting as “Escape,” because that is the life of the story. It is the life of its characters, rather it be Chen Senmai or his wife. His wife is not released from her ties with her husband until his death. That is when “her heart was completely cleansed” and has nothing left to worry about. Given the narrative mode of the story, she will never escape the constrictions of her status as a female in society. She does not have her own voice, even the story of her own husband is told from a retelling told by a relative who calls her “aunt;” thus, a relative who is supposedly younger and inferior in terms of generation status. She never even has a name in the story.

Regardless of male or female, the question of self and the vulnerability of an individual remained a significant issue of Chinese society in the 1950s and its later years. It was a time powered by nationalism. There should be pride in the history and unity of the people’s nation. There was pressure from constant reminders that the culture as well as literature must reflect the class interest of the common people and promote mass organizations in order to ensure centralization. Those against the community were in essence against the country. There was no room for criticism and opposition.

Su Tong may not be focusing on the political aspects of China in those times, but he convincingly illustrates the pains and torments from trying to balancing society while trying to preserve the individual. “Escape” is a profound tale filled with many messages ranging from simple family dynamics and basic life issues to the question of humanity and the meaning of living freely. It is a story of life.

The Message of Dorian Gray

2011-11-13T22:42:00.001-08:00

The Picture of Dorian Gray brings us further into the concept of desire and illustrates quite vividly of its power, its weakness, its beauty, its ugliness, its motivation, and its destruction. It also presents the ideals and allures of theories, such as aestheticism and hedonism, and reveals the reality of these concepts when practiced through human hands. The many intricate relationships between ambition, morality, sin, one’s conscience, the individual, and society can be quite astonishing.

The complexity of these connections depicted is definitely one of the key elements in capturing my attention and earning my admiration for the novel. I received many messages from this classic story, not simply about the world around me but also the world within me. Yet, when I try to piece them all together, the messages seem to be ambiguous or contradictory.

Take Dorian Gray for example – perhaps you will disagree with me, but I cannot deny the magnetism and charisma of Dorian Gray. Even though I know exactly how dangerous and hideous he truly is on the inside, I still cannot resist being pulled in by the form that he allows the world to see. I may not be completely attracted to him, but there are still elements of his entity to be admired.

He is art. Dorian Gray is art.

As Wilde says, “it is the spectator, and not life, that art really mirrors.” If Dorian Gray truly resembles the evilness of life, then what is it trying to imply about me?

But if beauty is there, how can it be denied? Shouldn’t art be appreciated for art’s sake? Art only needs to be beautiful. There should be no other use, and its justification of Art’s existence is that it is admires intensely. (The Picture of Dorian Gray, Preface)

Perhaps this sort of conflict, this ambiguity and complexity, is exactly what Oscar Wilde is trying to tell us.

You cannot view this world as purely black and white. There is black, and there is white; and there is gray as the two intermingle as they come into contact. You are not purely evil, and neither are you purely good; you are a combination of the two.

There are opposing forces, ideas, and views inside us and outside us that are struggling to live in the same place. They are currently coexisting in one time and one place. The end result may be as clear to you or as vague as Dorian’s demise, but the certain thing is that, as of now, there are two sides to the world, two faces of the being, and their line of separation cannot be so precise. To force a separation thoroughly earthly means is harmful, painful, and utterly impossible other than the means of death.

One thing with living in this world is to learn to come to terms with the openness in life and finding your definition of “you” and “life.”

I could be completely wrong about this final message from Dorian Gray, and Oscar Wilde could actually mean something absolutely different by his novel.

But, this is my own interpretation and my own definition about the work,

and isn’t that what Art is?

Isn't that what Life is?

~ My Work ~

Our Love for Rochester

2011-11-12T17:21:00.001-08:00

Edward Rochester – a man with a grim, dark face & stern features, a man with a past unclear only to be revealed as unclean, and a man with perhaps questionable behavior.

Yet, even with all his flaws, externally and internally, this is the man of “every woman’s dream” (see video below). & yes, every woman’s notion of Edward Rochester is different because he is such an emotionally complex man, but undeniably, he is attractive.

What is so captivating about this man,
even after all his mistakes and faults,
that makes us unable to do anything but to forgive and continue to love him?
Rochester is a wild and passionate man. His excitingly mysterious personality is refreshing compared to the stale, static life we often lead. He is unafraid to express his emotions. He is free with his words and passions – a bit too excessively even. He dared to dream.

Just as Jane Eyre (& yours truly) finds Rochester’s personality refreshing, Jane’s personality to him is also a breath of fresh air. It is her spirit that he is attracted to and is captivated by. He understands and greatly values her for who she is underneath it all.

We love Rochester first because he is a passionate man that speaks the language of our hearts and sings the melody that the world has stopped our spirits to sing. He wants to release us from the cage that society has placed us in.

How can we resist the temptation of such calling?
He beckons us like the Sirens beckon sailors.

We love Rochester second because he loves us for our minds. “Your mind is my treasure” (Jane Eyre, Chapter 27). Such words from a man who has gone through the painful mistakes and fruitless sins of shallow relationships for beauty, money, and social considerations; such words from a man who’s yearned for so long for a kindred soul to which he finally finds in Jane, we cannot help but to take these words to heart with genuineness.

We know for certain that it is our spirits that speak to each other and that appearances are of no consequence; after all, he is no beauty himself.

As much as we want romanticize and idealize Rochester (as he does with Jane), we cannot ignore his humanness and ugly crimes – the most fatal one of hiding and lying about his marriage and believing that he can get away with it as well as trying to make a wife in his eyes and develop her into his fantasies.

He forces us into his fairy tales that he uses to evade reality, and they are so far from reality. As much as we wish to indulge ourselves in them with him, we know who we truly are – his fantasies simply are not what we are. We have to force ourselves away from this unhealthy relationship.

As painful and horrible as it is to turn away from him, we must, because indulging in such unrestrained passion will only lead to destruction as reality unfolds.

Many people will ask how can you love this man so much? He locked a wife in the tower, led a bachelor’s life, hid the truth from you, and hid the truth from you?

To them, we say, have man no sin? Have you no sympathy for a man who has suffered and isolated himself from the world because of guilt? He may be imperfect, but neither am I perfect. He has his past, and I have mine.

And mind you, we are not so foolish to just blindly accept and condone and excuse his wrongs. Oh outside spectator, you do not understand how much strength was actually required to leave him because of how morally wrong the situation was. Forgiveness may have been given easily, especially with our unconditional love for him, but wrongs cannot be vanished into thin air.

Rochester does indeed suffer and is punished severely for his sins, and he is left blinded and crippled for them.

We love Rochester third because, in the end, he can finally see us and accept us for who we are, as we are, in reality. As damaged as he may be, the spirit that lived inside of him that first responded to the calling within us is still there. He is still just as eager to receive us as the first time when he came across our spirits.

His once excessive choleric temperament is controlled. He does not place us on his own idealistic pedestal anymore. We are now truly his equally, and we can live side by side as equals.

He is ready to truly love.

We say to him, “choose then, sir – her who loves you best.”

He says, “I will choose –

her I love best.”

A little hesitant to show a video with an actor portraying Rochester, but good commentary on the character!

Dependent on Others' Strength - You

2011-11-10T20:03:00.000-08:00

“If you fasten your feebleness on someone else’s strength, the existence for you must be a scene of continual change and excitement or else the world is a dungeon.” – Jane Eyre, Chapter 21

How true this quote is. & not just for fictional characters from the lines of a novel, but for you and me as well.

How many times have you sought out a friend for support?

By no means am I against that, in fact, I think it is needed that we have people who understand us, who accept us for who we are, and have them by our sides as we live in this world that tends to leave us feeling lonely and unwanted. Surely it is not hard to see why Jane and Edward felt such a strong attachment to each other.

But how many times have you constantly sought out the same friend for the same exactly problem from all those years ago? Or maybe it’s not the same friend, but simply different people?

How many times have you felt that satisfying release from being freed of the burdens from the chains that have tied your heart down for so long even for a short moment?

How comforting and freeing it is to have someone to encourage or just listen to all the torments and struggles that your spirit has been forced to endure – even for a short moment.

In the end, the problems don’t go away. The chains remain. When the pressure rises again from within your heart, you are left to relive this cycle of seeking out a kindred spirit.

When we depend on another human being to be strong for us, we are simply finding excuses for ourselves to not face reality. It is simply a means to find a momentary borrowed strength to escape the pains in life.

Eventually, we will grow tired of these dependent relationships because we feel that they are not enough to cover the pain that we feel and is constantly threatening to resurface.

Only when the strength comes from a source within ourselves can we conquer the pains of life. Only then will we stop moving from one external and fleeting source of strength to another.

When the pressures rise again from within your heart - when you are ready - you can find the power to force them back down.

Be strong for yourself, because no one can be strong for you.

Have you fasten your feebleness on someone else's strength?

Dependent on Others' Strength - Jane Eyre

2011-11-09T21:58:00.000-08:00

Jane Eyre’s entire life has been a journey of learning to be independent, to finally be able to settle in a place where she is entirely at peace without the dependence and influence of anyone around her.

“If you fasten your feebleness on someone else’s strength, the existence for you must be a scene of continual change and excitement or else the world is a dungeon.” – Jane Eyre, Chapter 21

The quote, although not directed to Jane, pretty much describes the way that Jane has been leading her life. Jane has never seen value in her identity because of her status as an orphan, a poor person, and a woman. She struggles to keep her emotions and unique spirit in a world that tries very hard to force her to fully suppress herself. She seeks out, perhaps unknowingly, for figures to help her deal with her conflicts with her external environment and within herself.

In her childhood, she attaches herself to Helen Burns, who does well to advice Jane on a mentality that will keep her sane in this world. After Helen’s death, Jane finds support in Miss Temple. When Miss Temple marries and must leave Jane, Jane feels trapped by Lowood. She grows tired of the rules and systems that she became accustomed to, which was fine to her until her strong figure Miss Temple leaves, and yearns to be a part of the real world that is full of sensations and excitements.

After Lowood, Jane meets Edward Rochester. His untamed passion speaks to her own, hidden passion. She feels and knows that their spirits are the same. She cannot help but be greatly influenced by him and become exceptionally attached to his strengths, personality, and spirit. But, Jane also recognizes the dangers of leading a life being consumed entirely by urges; it is not realistic and ultimately destructive.

She must leave Rochester.

We see through Jane’s life that until she finds her strength that solely comes from within herself, she cannot settle down. She must keep moving or else she will feel a sense of entrapment in regards to her identity.

Jane returns to Rochester because she is sure of her identity and strengths; she has a family, she has an inheritance, and she is an independent woman. She can stand strong on her own. She is ready to love and welcome the passion that is Rochester without the fear of being consumed by his fire.

In the end, Jane Eyre and Edward Rochester can finally be together, because they are two completely renewed puzzle pieces that have each gone through their own version of tribulation and cleansing to form independent yet matching identities in order to experience a genuinely lasting love between two people.

It is a love where both people are certain and content of their own world to let the integrity of the other remain intact as the two collide.

It is a love that truly fulfills each other.

Dependent on Others’ Strength – Edward Rochester

2011-11-08T16:01:00.000-08:00

“If you fasten your feebleness on someone else’s strength, the existence for you must be a scene of continual change and excitement or else the world is a dungeon.” – Jane Eyre, Chapter 21

I definitely think that this quote represents the lives and tendencies of the 2 main characters of Jane Eyre. Let's begin our reflections with our leading male character.

Edward Rochester may have been a strong and passionate man, but he still has his weaknesses.

He is still helpless, in particular in his entrapment by a forced marriage. Because of his inescapability from this situation that he so desperately resents, he is constantly trying to “free” himself by being involved with many temporary mistresses. He fails to find genuine solace in them because the short-lived relationships were not strong enough to sustain lasting excitements for him to feel the joys of life and to feel what it means to be alive again.

They are not enough for him.

He finally meets Jane – a girl whom he can see has a spirit the same as his and has such a strong and unconventional character that he realizes that she is the one who he has been searching for all along. She is the one who he can depend on and trust to revive his dead life.

As Rochester says, he is “a repentant man going against the world’s opinion to a gentle stronger, therefore by securing his own peace of mind and regeneration of life.” Jane Eyre is his “gentle stronger.” He believes her spirit is strong enough to sustain the peace in his life and to allow him to feel alive again.

She brings out the passion in him.

However, Jane realizes the dangers of such attachment and tells Rochester that “reformation should never depend on a fellow creature;” it must come from the strength within, a strength in which he must draw from God himself.

Furthermore, Jane sees that if she agrees to be with him as a mistress, one day he will also grow tired of her, and when her personality goes against his will, he will be “displeased” with her and cannot love her as he does now in his current stage of blinding passion for her.

Only when Rochester repents out of his own desire, strength, and will does he find true love and everlasting happiness. He may be physically handicapped, but his inner strength is so much more independent compared to before. He is no longer helpless spiritually.

He may be physically blind, but his heart is finally clear. His heart and mind are no longer clouded by his vehement passion.

He cannot fasten his inner weakness on Jane’s strength any longer.

He becomes his own person. He has found balance within himself.

His existence is finally at peace.

The world is no longer a dungeon for him.

Jane can finally return to him.

Overwhelmed with Passion for "Jane Eyre"

2011-11-07T21:58:00.000-08:00

I fell in love with Jane Eyre the moment I read the story,
and I have yet to fall out of love.

It was the type of love that captivated all of my attention and overwhelmed my senses. I couldn’t think clearly to process, let alone answer, the questions that rushed to enter my mind. I could simply let the waves of events carry me through their motions.

As much as I tried to remain logical and bring myself back to reality, I could not resist the temptation to give in to the overpowering emotions that I felt.

It truly was love at first read.

Perhaps I had been so in tune with the story that I allowed the emotions that Jane Eyre was experiencing to take over and become a part of me and my own emotional experience. I understood, if not exactly felt, the struggles between passion and logic that Jane fought through.

It is so easy to let passion to capture your senses because its power can consume you like a fire. It is so powerful that if there is no balance between reason and passion, the fires of desire will destroy you.

Charlotte Bronte illustrates this point quite clearly with many character’s deaths, such as Bertha who’s passion not only drove her to insanity but became so uncontrollable that caused her to start a literal fire that led her to her death. Even with St. John Rivers, who was a symbol of reason, his strong determination in remaining rational and in control became an obsession that ultimately led him to his death.

Jane Eyre is a book that illustrates the importance of internal balance in one’s life. A person cannot be led purely by fervent passion or solely on logical, emotionless thoughts. Too much of either one would be destructive to the body, heart, and spirit.

Jane Eyre took me along with her as she walked down her path to self discovery, which is exactly what she wanted I’m sure because the story is written as her memoir. In the end of her tale, Jane is certain of her value in her own identity and is at peace with her decisions as well as the life that she chose to lead.

It is only after hearing her ending that I found myself ready to reflect back on the series of events that happened and to begin seeking answers to the many questions and emotions that threatened to overwhelm me. But even to this day, I still find it hard to calm myself down when I think about this amazing story.

The influence of passion is so powerful that its sensations can be communicated and transferred through mere words.

I don’t believe that we are ever released from its hold.

Under the Lights

2011-11-07T20:52:00.000-08:00

The dim, yellow lights above guided our path to my house, and I found myself laughing lightly again at his words.

It was his first time visiting them here.

He’d met them before but still I felt nervous. He squeezed my hand gently as if I hadn’t responded to something he said or asked. I looked up and smiled softly at his face. He gave me comfort however unknowingly.

We had finally arrived.

My mother and aunt were drinking tea in the family room. I could hear the easy chatter even at the front door.

I walked past the threshold and said to the two of them just as I turned towards the stairs,

“Hi mom, hi Aunt May. I’m just going to grab something real quick. I’ll be right back. He’s here for a little bit, but we’re going to out again real soon.”

I left him alone with the two of them, and he sat by my mother, across from my aunt. They nodded and smiled at each other. My mother and aunt continued to smile politely but tried to speak to each other in a softer tone.

When I finally came back down, I saw him get up and said to them, “I’ll go get us something to drink.” To which my mother gave another smile and a nod.

After I saw him walk out of the family room, I asked my mother, “Did you know what he said?”

My mother gave a light shake of her head and a small smile, almost remorseful and defeated, and said,

“Child, you know I don’t understand Him.”

Right. That's right..you don't understand. I was ready to leave. I had already taken a few steps to face away from the table, but the words in my mind could not stop repeating themselves like the background static of a radio with poor reception.

He was standing by the doorway, patiently waiting for me.

Under the bright, white lights of our home, his pale complexion stood out even more compared to my own skin.

He was different. He wasn’t bad. He was decent. I was happy enough with him. It was fine. But was it enough?

Was this enough?

Before I could take another step towards him, I paused and looked back over my left shoulder at my mother.

They had already resumed their private conversation filled with smiles and gentle laughter.

I could not tell whether or not I had a smile on my own face.

~ November 5, 2011

"Raise the Red Lantern" (1991)

2011-10-31T22:21:00.000-07:00

Director Zhang Yimou makes it easy for the audience to be captivated with the life of a nineteen years old girl who is forced into a world full of schemes, deceit, hatred, and constant battles for attention as she becomes the third concubine of a rich landowner.

The beauty of “Raise the Red Lantern" is that it uses a simple storyline to convey flawlessly the ugliness of human nature and its horrifying and damaging results. It is a film that not only focuses on the atrocious oppression and objectification of women, but also concentrates greatly on the helplessness and vulnerability of those trapped within such a system. “Raise the Red Lantern” does well to describe to the society of China in the 1920s, a society full of traditions, hierarchies, and the need for self preservation.

Song Lian may have had half a year of college education, but that does little to rid her of the dependence on men through family and marriage and to help escape her fate as a woman of the times. Her education may have set her apart from the three other mistresses of Master Chen, but it is simply a feature that poses as a temporary advantage to further entice her master before he grows tired of her company.

Although there may be a social difference between an educated woman and an actress (as in the case with the Third Mistress), as women, there is no difference; the two are both subjected to the same fate. Whatever they do and whatever is done to them is for the sole purpose of serving and pleasing men. A woman is “a piece of clothing” for the man to control when he wants to wear, toss, and destroy that insignificant item.

Yet, women still actively participate in the perpetual struggle for attention, power, and status in order to secure a desirable position in this vicious human food chain to preserve the individual. Song Lian’s independent will and pride of an educated female is broken down as she sheds tears for her surrender to such a life, and eventually she feels the need to lie about her pregnancy as she tries to be calculating like the other mistresses. The exposure of her lie is her failure to fight effectively. It not only leads her to a life of isolation, but also to the destruction of her spirit.

She comes to the conclusion that the endless competition is meaningless; life is meaningless. Everything is simply an act; everything is a lie.

Yet, that is the life you must lead. That is the life that you are forced to lead.

The world of Master Chen and his four mistresses is no different than the dog-eat-dog world that exists outside the walls of their home. There is no security. There is no truth. Those who rebel or fail to obey the valued customs and rules of tradition are ultimately destroyed.

What is human in such a society? It is one step away from being a ghost, and perhaps there is not even a difference.

The last scene of “Raise the Red Lantern” is particularly haunting. Song Lian is at last driven to insanity after she witnesses the murder of the Third Mistress (the punishment for the Third Mistress’ adulterous acts), and she wanders aimlessly inside an enclosed, rectangular area of Master Chen’s household surrounded by brightly lit red lanterns.

She is forever trapped in this place of red lanterns, a place where one man controls all the lives of those inside his walls.

She is forever subjected to lead a life in which she has no control over.

She is to live a life that cannot be claimed as her own.

What is human?

What is life?

The Woes of a Man

2011-10-24T00:27:00.000-07:00

Fat man sees small door,
He knows he cannot fit through,
Tears flow freely.

Fat man hears laughter,
Tears run steadily down face,
The girl laughs harder.

Laughter travels far,
Fat man cries even louder,
Sounds of happiness.

Fat man has no hope,
Literally drowns in tears,
Laughter heard on land.

Trapped behind the door,
Nowhere to go, run, or hide,
Woes of a fat man.

The story of a man expressed in Haiku verses - a joint production with a dear friend.

~ October 23, 2011

An Evolving Culture

2011-10-23T00:30:00.000-07:00

There have been so many cultural changes simply within the last century, and I do feel that cultural change is an evolutionary process. Nobody in the past would have expected that contemporary culture will be so cyber-focused, but reality has shown that what began as something so rare has expand into something nearly everyone can have some sort of access to the internet.

Who would have thought that social networking would become such an essential part of our lives?

When I first joined Facebook and used Google, I did not anticipate their scale and their impact today. I also feel that when these companies first started, they had not really anticipated this either, regardless of how ambitious they were or what high hopes they held.

Because of their presence and the dynamics of the industries where competition and product innovation have urged on an economic change, we (consumers and commoners) have also actively participated in this process to generate further progress in changing our culture, society, and lives.

Undoubtedly, the world has been changing. It is almost as if we need to actively participate in social networking sites now in order to stay competitive or to simply show that we've "kept up" with the world. I would hate to think that this was a coherent plan of some human mastermind out there, but rather, it was something that has evolved out from different actions, thoughts, and trends of the times.

On a more personal note, I was very against joining Twitter or even posting certain statuses on Facebook because I didn't feel that people really needed or cared about what breakfast I hated that morning. But now I have a Twitter (tweet!), Blogspot, LinkedIn, YouTube, you name it!

How have you seen culture evolve in our world & in your life?

Culture with a Life of its Own

2011-10-22T23:58:00.000-07:00

Culture is ever-changing and will continue to be this way for as long as the universe exists. In this sense, culture has no concrete definition. I feel that culture is so much greater than any human being that it is not something that we can “have” or “do” in order to fully capture its meaning and presence in people's lives.

Culture is perpetuated through people’s actions, yet it’s constantly changing as people continually incorporate and transform new and foreign elements. It truly is a "collective phenomena" that affects a whole society for many generations. It has a “life” that transcends the individuals that identify with those elements at any time. Its changes are not even results of any specific, coherent plan that someone or some nation had.

It's so interesting that culture can be spread through the different age groups of a community, but at the same time, we can make it our own by internalizing it & making it become something that each one of us can "have." Every one of us understand and express our cultures differently, because we process information differently.

Culture is personal yet beyond the individual at the same time.

Uygur Dances - Chinese Folk Dances of Xinjiang

Culture: Something You Have or Do?

2011-10-21T17:56:00.000-07:00

A traditional dance performed by a group of dancers from Germany

Culture is not something that we are born with. It doesn't come naturally to us like breathing, but it becomes so influential in our lives that it is almost as natural as breathing and eventually leads us to naturally identify ourselves with it. But, is "culture" something you have or something you do?

Culture is learned, and it is not inborn or instinctive. The most common way of learning is active and repeated participation, and because of this factor, I lean towards saying that “culture” is something that we do.

Considering using "culture" as a verb instead of a noun - "culturing," because it truly is an endless and ongoing activity. As we practice certain customs and follow certain traditions, we are showing others the values that we've learned from a particular culture. Our understanding & expression of our own culture will continue to change and develop based on our thoughts and decisions throughout different stages in life.

"Have" has the connotation that culture is something you can hold on to, that it’s comparable to an object. Since I do think that culture is an ongoing activity, I did not feel that considering it to be an object was fitting to its definition. However, I also realize that culture is something that you can lose. How can you lose something if you didn’t have it in the first place?

Do you feel like culture is something you have or something you do?

The Fall of Tradition

2011-10-17T00:26:00.000-07:00

“An Old and Established Name” is a fitting title for such a tale, because it is essentially a life story of the business The Fortune Silk Store.
“The Fortune Silk Store – an old and established name of years standing! – now demeaned itself into employing every kind of trick to rope in customers. Xin Dezhi’s mouth hung so far open in dismay that his face began to look like a dumpling that had split apart while boiling. An old hand, an old and established name, old rules – all had vanished along with Manager Qian, perhaps never to return again. Manager Qian had been very honest and gentlemanly, so much so, in fact, that the Fortune Silk store lost money.”
The business begins as a place that exercises solely on old rules, but as quickly as the leave of its old manager, its old customs are gone. There is a strong focus of the past practices of the Fortune Silk Store as a constant reminder and simply to emphasize how strong and important to these ideals once were. The old and established name was what the store sold; it did not need anything else.

However, because of the external forces of societal and cultural changes, the business cannot carry on to operate as it once did. It must change with the times in order to continue. Everything must change. The arrival of the new manager brings along with him the needed transformation. The old vanishes, and the new takes over. There is no return to the past even if one tries.

The life of The Fortune Silk Store embodies the conflict between the traditional culture and doctrine and the new and foreign western capitalism. The presence of capitalism in the city and in the country brought upon significant cultural change and cultural split in Chinese society in the 1930s. The changes in business operations resulted primarily from the increasing brutal competition and social transformation. There was a great urge to modernize simply to survive in the city, in the country, and in the world.

The demise of the old and established store symbolizes the losing battle of tradition against modernization. No matter how hard tradition fought, it cannot compete with the new, and ultimately, it will be overpowered. Honesty and simplicity can no longer guarantee survival; only facades and deceits can ensure a position in the new world.

Lao She’s “An Old and Established Name” is a direct representation of the struggles and failures in preserving the tradition in a new society as well as a clear representation of the conflicting inner turmoil of those helplessly affected by their surrounding environment.

"An Old and Established Name" (1936)

2011-10-17T00:03:00.000-07:00

“An Old and Established Name” by Lao She depicts the striking contrast between an old, traditional society and a new, modern society during a constantly changing and competitive time. The story follows Xin Dezhi, a senior apprentice of operations in the Fortune Silk Store, as he witnesses the change from the honest Manager Qian, to the hustler Manager Zhou, and back to Manager Qian, and concludes with the final fate of the Fortune Silk Store.

Told from the perspective of a side character, the focus is not on the change in personnel of the business, but rather the audience is drawn into the business and its transformations through the protagonist’s earnest response on the subject matter. Lao She clearly illustrates the value of a person experiencing continuous emotional waves and survival difficulties.

Without a doubt, the thoughts and emotions of Xin Dezhi makes the story most intriguing. Throughout the whole ordeal, he never once abandons his ideals of maintaining and valuing the traditional culture, morals, and doctrines. Although he cannot refute the fact that Manager Zhou’s management can prosper the business, he cannot bring himself to fully admire and accept such new ways of doing things. He observes that in order to make money, one has to be a “combination magician and burlesque comedian.”

When Manager Qian returns and the store is back to the way that it was in the past, Xin Dezhi readily welcomes the reversion because he truly loves the good times that the store once had. Even as reality and fate finally arrives at the Fortune Silk Store & it can no longer escape their hands, Xin Dezhi comforts Manager Qian with tears in his eyes to not to worry.

As sorrowful as it is to witness the gradual dismiss of his beloved old values all the while knowing deep in his heart that the past cannot be recovered, Xin Dezhi held on as long as he could to the shattered bits and pieces until the new inevitably took over.

"To Live" (1994)

2011-10-03T00:28:00.000-07:00

“To Live,” a film directed by Yimou Zhang, follows the life of a man and his family as they are forced to adapt constantly in order to survive the drastic transformations that China undergoes during a short period of thirty years. The powerful presentation style along with the sorrowful plot filled with countless sufferings and obstacles effectively captivate the audience through the truthful depiction of people’s living conditions at the time. Such a film deserves recognition because it successfully illustrates the adversity and injustice throughout history and exemplifies universal themes that trigger the deeply rooted emotions residing within the human heart.

Fugui began as a stubborn, spoiled, and privileged man, and solely from his own doing, he loses everything that had given his family the high status that he used to frequently exploit. Yet, it is because of this seemingly terrible loss in becoming ordinary citizens that allows him and his family to follow the strong and unpredictable currents produced by the rise of the revolution and that ultimately grants them survival thereafter.

Viewers follow intensely to witness exactly how much Fugui must endure and how far he must bend his character simply to live – to live under constant anxiety, fear, and pressure. The tension remains for the rest of the movie, and there is no lasting, dependable source of relief. However, life does not stop for the person, and people must move on with life nonetheless. The arguably sole source of comfort is in the person’s ability to survive and remain resilient. Such is the pain and the inescapable living conditions forced upon people due to the radical political changes.

The challenges in Fugui’s life demonstrate the many different yet common and significant values for people, such as the importance of family, the devastation and repercussions of loss, and the power of love. They draw upon deep emotions in order to build a substantial connection and relationship by making the characters’ lives relatable to the external party. There is a strong sense of empathy from the audience because of the great focus on family unity and individual as well as family survival. In spite of all the tragedies, people can remain strong and endure the hardships thrown at them, for we cannot give in so easily. Humans are adaptable creatures, and in time, we learn to live with the sorrow and pain that mold and shape us into who we are today.

“To Live” truly is a movie that not only touches, but digs deep into the issues of the heart. Its realistic representation of the significant political events and their effects on mere citizens speak volumes about people’s mentality and approach towards life.

“To Live” is a movie for those who want to experience and witness how people deal with the complicated emotions that come with unexpected turmoil that arise in life.

Fresh Continuation

2011-10-03T00:03:00.000-07:00

Everyone talks about having a fresh start - well this time, it's going to be my fresh continuation.

A new quarter has started, and this time, I am enrolled in 4 classes that require me to share some intense discussion and analysis on all sorts of reading and media materials! Certainly brings back some memories as to how this particular blog got started.

So, here I am, once again, asking you to be patient with me, and follow me in my journey -
this time through late 19th Century - early 20th Century British literature, modern Chinese literature, & contemporary business anthropology.

Enjoy!

As usual, a simple disclaimer:
I must say that I truly mean no offense with what I will say. I understand that I may touch upon sensitive subjects, and I will try to be as careful as I can. I do not mean to attack or insult anyone out there. Please consider my commentaries with a carefree spirit~

You & Your Words

2011-05-17T20:21:00.000-07:00

You said that if you had known,
you would have never let it happen.

You said that if you had been there,
you would have protected me and that
you would have stopped them from doing those cruel things to me.

You said that you would have saved me from the harm that I suffered when
I was vulnerable.

But no one was crueler than you.
All you did was feed me empty lies and meaningless words.

You put my hand to the fire and assured me that
I would not be burnt.

You put a knife in my hand and assured me that
I had the power to control such a strong weapon.
Never again would it make me bleed.

You threw me on the field and forced me to run and chase after the things
you aimed at me and assured me that
my endurance will only build.
What doesn’t kill me will only make me stronger.

No one can compare to you and what you have done.
All these meaningless words that you’ve force-fed me and that I naively consumed.

You left me alone on the streets in the cold to chase after empty cars.
You left me defenseless and abandoned.

You left me with nothing.

You left me nothing but your words and the images of you replaying over and over again in my mind.
They had already taken over my being and replaced my heart with what you’ve left in me.

I may not remember their faces, but I will always remember you,

Your countenance, your cruelness,
Your ugliness, your heartlessness,
Your evilness, your emptiness,

You and your meaningless words.

They were not the worst in my life.

You are.

~ May 17, 2011

From the Bottom of Someone's Broken Heart

2011-05-13T22:39:00.000-07:00

There’s only two types of guys out there,
the ones that can hang with me and ones that are scared.
So come here, a little closer,
I want to whisper in your ear,
I was born to make you happy,
‘cause you’re the only one within my heart.

That’s the way our lives should be.

I want to believe in everything that you say,
‘cause it sounds so good.
I never knew love till there was you.
There’s nowhere I’d rather be.

If you love me, trust in me the way that I trust in you.

There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do.
That’s not the way I planned it.

Boy you’ve got me blinded.

You drive me crazy.
You’re toxic, I’m slipping under.
I’m a slave for you.
I’m addicted to you, don’t you know that
You’re toxic?

Baby, you spin me around.
The Earth is moving, but I can’t feel the ground.
Every time you look at me, my heart is jumping,
it’s easy to see.
And to lose all my senses, that is just
so typically me.

Every time I see
you in my dreams, I see your face,
it’s haunting me.

I guess I need you baby.

All I really want is to hold you tight, treat you right,
be with you day and night,
because you feel like paradise and I need a vacation tonight.

Show me how you want it to be,
tell me baby ‘cause I need to know now,
if there’s nothing missing in my life then why do tears come at night?

I’ve been waiting for so long it hurts.

How was I to know I’d miss you so?

I need to hear you say, you need me all the way.

So, baby if you love me,
please
don’t let me be the last to know.

~ May 11, 2011

This piece was written by purely using the lyrics from various Britney Spears' songs: Baby One more Time, Circus, Don't Let Me Be the Last to Know, Every time, From the Bottom of My Broken Heart, Hold it Against Me, I'm a Slave 4 You, Opps I Did it Again, Sometimes, Toxic, & You Drive Me Crazy.

Precious Love

2011-05-13T14:22:00.000-07:00

My dear, where have you been
all my life?
Time is being wasted when you are not with me and if only
time can stop when you are by my side.

Darling, don’t you know how precious you are to me? You are the
apple of my eye.
My love, come over here already so that we can begin
our lives together, from
now on and forever will we live in happiness and love.

~ May 12, 2011

Only You

2011-05-13T13:56:00.000-07:00

Just because
of who you are and
how you live your life,
never had I admired someone so much that

the simple thought of you brings a smile to my face.Never had I been so enamored with someone who I barely know, and

this is all because ofyou.

Deep inside, I know that this will never last, but
every time I feel like breaking down, only you can cure me of my pain and

save me from the cruelty of reality.Please let me see you a little longer, and

please, let me stay in this dream with you a little longer.

~ May 12, 2011

Senseless

2011-05-10T09:06:00.001-07:00

Watch as the needle punctures through that first layer of skin,
as it goes deeper and deeper before it is slowly drawn out.
The flow of crimson follows the path down to the lines of love and life,
covering them with a thick, dense painting of the various shades of red.

Feel as the water fills your lungs and weighs your soul forward.
Feel its heavy movements as it works with gravity to force your body down
to give into the earth.
Feel as it consumes all of you, so heavy that there can be no release,
only the silent escapes that will do nothing but blur your vision.

Listen as the loud screeches continue to pierce your eardrums.
No matter how desperately you may try to protect yourself, to cover yourself, or
to recoil your body to save yourself,
there is no stopping to this sharp, loud, perpetuating pain.

Can’t you taste the residuals from your torture rushing out?

Doesn’t that vile smell of your slow demise repulse you?

If only senses could be controlled.

If only senses could be stopped.

What life would be if only it was senseless.

but.

isn’t it already?

~ May 2, 2011

Master Schemer

2011-05-10T09:05:00.001-07:00

You walked in and called me out by name,
like you knew I would respond and follow you.
You knew what I would do.
You knew what I would say when you wanted my body and my mind.
You knew exactly what you were doing.

You, master schemer, you.
Knowing that everything is under your control.
One day, I will have a surprise waiting for you,
and we’ll see what you’ll do then.

You watch me like a puppeteer with his marionette.
My strings are in your hands.
Your words follow me around the stage.
All the while your silent laughter sounds from where you stand,
laughing as I act out your beloved play.

Master schemer, you.
Thinking that everything is under your control.
Your words your weapons, your strength your shield.
One day, someone will conquer this world you’ve built,
and we’ll see what you’ll do then.

You are the destroyer. You are the redeemer.
You built this up only to take it down,
to heal only to wound once more,
so that no victims of yours can escape.

You, master schemer, you.
Believing that everything is under your control.
One day, the world will take everything away,
and just you wait,
we’ll see what you’ll do then.

~ April 25, 2011

Let me go. Set me free.

2011-04-24T23:22:00.000-07:00

Unchain me.
Release me.
Free me from these binds.

Rip me apart.
Tear me up.
See what I’m made of.

Let me go.
Set me free.
I want to finally breathe again.

Yell. Hit. Shout.
Do what you will.

Hoping no longer suffices.
Fighting no longer makes sense.

All I’m asking for is an end.

Stop this pain.
End this hurt.
All I want is to be able to live again.

I’ll give in.
I’ll surrender.
I’ll do what you want me to.

Just release this hold you have on me, and
let me go.

Set me free.

~ April 24, 2011

InFlames

2011-04-23T23:21:00.000-07:00

You will be the ashes on the floor,
the broken leaves abandoned on the ground,
the dirt left by the door.

You’ll be a bridge I got to burn.

You will be the blood dripping from my veins,
the tears I wipe away,
the pain I try to hide in vain.

You’re just a bridge I got the burn.

Floating in a sea of red,
all I want is to see -
to see more intention,
to see more passion,
to see more extermination.

You are just a bridge I got to burn.

You are the doll I locked away,
the witch dying on the stake,
the wall we got to break.

You are a bridge I got to burn.

Simply-
burn.
burn.
burn.

You are just a bridge I got to burn.

~ April 14, 2011

Summer's Presence

2011-04-17T17:07:00.000-07:00

Summer is here when the calendar shows the date – June 1st.

Summer is here when schools finally announce their last day, their last hour, their last minute of the school year, and their students rush out shouting in joy, throwing their backpacks in random directions, and running to their friends’ homes to play games.

Summer is here when fields and fields of flowers rise up to greet the sun with bright smiles and take in the fresh dew resting on their petals.

Summer is here when the sky is left with nothing but a beautiful soft shade of blue and the round yellow yoke of the sun.

Summer is here when birds begin their nonstop chatter too early in the morning that carries onto the evening where crickets take their baton and begin their own version of singing.

Summer is here when you realize that you can no longer get SAD, but instead you get CHASED – Constantly Hyper-Active, Senseless, & Energetic Disorder.

Summer is here when little children run to follow the sweet melody of an ice-cream truck, only to have their delicious treats melt all over their pudgy hands and newly washed T-shirts as the ice-cream man drives away.

Summer is here when teenagers cram themselves into small cars to find an escape from the summer heat, only to arrive at the beach and receive no release whatsoever from the nonexistent wind.

Summer is here when you desperately try to cool yourself off in front of an opened refrigerator and roll pieces of ice down your arms, because you can’t take off anymore clothes and you feel as if you’re a crab in a boiling pot.

Summer is here when people who have not yet let go of their youth run around in the parks at midnight to play tag with their friends.

Summer is here when you can sit peacefully on your balcony with a glass of cold lemonade and lean back against your wooden chair to see the night sky.

Summer is here when you finally acknowledge its presence and existence, and you can longingly say at last –

“You are Here.”

~ May 17, 2010

The Temptation of Light

2011-04-09T23:28:00.000-07:00

I rush towards the door,
unexpectedly eager to see the wonders of this world,
so very tempted by the rays of light
seeping
through its bottom.

The fast passing of two entities is ever so ordinary, ever so insignificant.
Like a quick, stolen glance that holds no meaning.

A hesitating step takes me into a world of wonders.

So foreign. So strange.
I can see the delicate, mystic melody floating in the air.
Its harmony echoing softly through the fields.
I follow its movement easily and dance along quietly with my fingers.

From that moment I knew.
That one,
simple glance was enough.
Brief but plenty.
It was a glimpse of happiness,
an escape of
daylight.

So colorful. So vibrant.
The flowers dance and rejoice around me.
I can feel their joyous celebration.
I can hear their cheers and laughter echoing in my ears.

Isn’t it so much better here?

So beautiful. So safe and comforting,
compared to before.

I have
fallen
in love with this fantasy.

How I want to dedicate my life to this world,
this land of light.

How eager I am to choose this life.

I cannot help but to embrace this cold, hard surface beneath my feet.

~ April 9, 2011

Down that Familiar Hole

2011-04-04T20:49:00.000-07:00

Down, down, down.
To plunge into the hole.
To be immersed with the surrounding darkness.
To witness everything else falling alongside me.

Down, down, down.
To leave the world I know behind.
To feel the rush of ecstasy from entering a realm unknown.
To let the butterflies residing within me free and live at last.

How my stomach starts to turn and rushes out of my mouth,
to spill my guts, to spill my unease, to spill my needs, to spill myself, to spill my pain.

To imagine that people actually yearn for this rush,
this exhilarating feeling of being on a roller coaster ride,
this constant cycle of keeping yourself on your toes.

I cannot possibly understand. I am only forced to understand and be pulled into their world.

The more resistance, the greater the tension.

I can feel the gravity pulling my body apart.

Must I give in? Must I simply let go and allow this to take me where it wants?

Down, down, down.
My vision gone. My voice lost. My mind mad.
The impact too strong. Its effects too great.
I don’t feel like myself anymore.

Down, down, down.
Such a long journey that I’ve been forced to travel.
Let it stop.
Please let it end.

So far down..
I suppose I like the feel of this cold air,
those consuming shadows,
and the empty space.
Let me stay here.
Leave me be.

As I try to look up to see where I once began to fall into the hole,
the last speck of light is gone.

~ April 4, 2011

I Have

2011-04-03T19:50:00.000-07:00

I have a peach on the table.

I have a hat sitting on a rack.

I have a spoon buried in my bag of chips.

I have a roll of tissue to help me through the day.

I have a pair of hands my mother desires.

I have a mind that my father wanted.

I have the flaws that my imaginary sister will never have.

I have legs that do not want to run on the streets.

I have the fears that my make-believe brother does not fear.

I have a candle sinking in a bowl of water.

I have a penguin that does not waddle.

I have a circle with no center, like a doughnut with no filling.

I have a pair of jeans that cannot be worn.

I have skin too tan to see the sun.

I have a snail that is burning from the salt.

I have a stone waiting for the waves,

waiting for the waves to tear its parts away and to lose them in the violent seas.

I have a pile of money buried underground.

I have road signs placed on every corner.

I have a list of people I’m dying to meet.

I have a rocket ready to fly into space.

I have

nothing.

~ February 6, 2010

I am Ready

2011-03-30T10:49:00.000-07:00

Ready to sign the death warrant

Ready to burn the entire forest with a large flaming torch and watch the enchanted city glow in red and orange spotlights only to slow to an end in black ashes

Ready to throw that infuriating pillar down and shatter it into countless pieces across the floor

Ready to rip apart that old rugged cloth and listen to its strands protest and cry out in agony

Ready to take up the sword and stab through the contents and let the insides run to flush out its life and disgust

Ready to blow out that dreaded candle lighting up the silent room forgotten down the hall

Ready to stop the trails of red from running down the wall

Ready to turn off the switch and save

Ready to simply erase it all

Ready to say goodbye.

~ March 29, 2011

Release

2010-04-13T11:05:00.000-07:00

A small flame against the burning fire.
A spark of darkness amongst the black night.
Seek me. See.

The silent blow of the wind in a storm.
The unheard cry of a child amidst cheerful laughter.
Hear me. Listen.

The more it tries, the faster the light dies.
The more it shouts, the quicker the sound fades.
See the spark. Hear the whisper.

The smallest corner of a puzzle cannot be missed.
The tiniest indentation of a tooth is noticed.
It is already seen. Its existence is already known.
For He has already seen.
For He has always cherished,
like the most precious gem ever created.

The echo from the fall of a tree in the wilderness still resonates.
The scream from the bird in the empty desert still cries.
It had always been heard. It had always held a voice.
For He has already heard.
For He has already listened to its cries
since its beginning and before its birth.

Glow with the fire that has been buried and hidden inside.
Shine with the light that has already been given to you.
The star will still radiate just as brightly as all the others.
Eyes will see.
They will realize.

No need to try, to yearn, to cower.

Sing to your fullest. Release that faithful melody from long ago.
Be the harmony.
Be empowered by the Voice. Move and speak with your will.
You have a voice.
Ears will hear.
They will recognize.

Do not strain. Do not be silenced. Do not fear.

It is and it will always be beautiful.

To know. To trust. To believe.

Existence, worth, and strength – Never forget,
never fade away, for there is understanding,
there is value, there is Love.

“Take heart. I am.”

~ March 22, 2010

Standing in the Center

2010-04-08T10:24:00.000-07:00

So cold. So frozen.
Where am I?

So far. So distant.
What is this that I see?

So continuous. So still.
How can this be?

The one punished for looking back,
The one reprimanded for thinking forward,
The one imprisoned for being in the present.

When has it become this way?
Why? How? Where?
What?

I cannot seem to remember. I cannot seem to recall.

Perhaps from the moment that light was declared, this was the way
that it had always been.

What’s the difference?

What’s the matter?

How is it that there can be no movement and no sound,
not even the slightest trickle of the night’s rain?

So calm? So quiet? So at peace?

Is that how it is now?
Is this what it is like?

A simple stone on the edge of the cliff with no sense of
fear, shame, sadness, or anything?

What is that? over there. look? will you please?

I turn back to the cliff to reach down and pick up the small round marble,
this tiny fragment of the Earth, and
I throw it far across the ocean.

What is this?

Carefree? Lightened? Free?

I turn away from the scene and look at the empty space ahead of me.

Water in a jar.
Air in a balloon.

A reflection in the mirror.

The crystallization of nothing.

~ March 23, 2010

To Do List

2010-04-06T12:16:00.000-07:00

To circle. To step. To tip toe.
To reach. To yearn. To envy.
To drop. To trip. To faint.
To sleep. To stop. To end.

Lose. Forfeit. Die.

To open. To let go. To cry.
To need. To rely. To trust.
To forget. To not think. To release.
To savor. To dare. To save.

Gain. Believe. Live.

~ March 23, 2010

Talking to My Therapist

2010-04-05T16:29:00.000-07:00

Thank you for everything that you’ve done.
Thank you. I love you.
Really. Yes. Why not?
No. No, I can’t.

I don’t need you.
Can you love a monster? No. You can’t.
You care. Sure. You sympathize. Yes. You pity. Right.

Why is it that every time I’m here,
I’m reminded of how cold-blooded of an animal I really am?

I don’t even see why I come to these places.

Oh? Really now?
What do you think of me then?

You’re right. It doesn’t matter.
I don’t need you. You don’t matter.

Why should you matter?

I have him.

He is all I’ll ever need.
His approval is the only one that I seek. He keeps me sane.
He is the only one who knows where my box really is though.
He is the only one who has the key to the lock, didn’t you know?
He is the only one I would ever consider to be worthy.

I guess we don’t really matter to each other then, me and you.

What are you still doing here?
I’m right aren’t I?

I know I am.

What are you doing here again?
I’m doing just fine.
Why do you call?
I told you, I’m doing great.
I’m fine. You can go.

Bye now.

Why am I still talking to you?

~ March 24, 2010

"Go Out With a Bang"?

2009-12-11T21:46:00.000-08:00

I had the hardest time trying to come up what to write for this post. It’s exactly 2 weeks before Christmas – meaning Winter Break is here and no more school! Whoo Hoo! As much as I would love to relax and not think (finally) for three weeks, I am completely blank on what to do with this blog. “A Sparrow’s Escape” started initially as a simple project for English class, and now, I don’t want it to end! Perhaps that is why I find it so hard to “go out with a bang.” I don’t want it to “go out.” I want every post I write to be a “bang.” (That’s the perfectionist side of me speaking there. =D)

I am in love with this blog! Everything about it I love. I love the topics, ideas, and even pictures! I love the name I came up for it; it’s very meaningful to me at least. I know I sound conceited, but I am sure we all have a little Pygmalion inside of each us. All in all, I am quite satisfied with the outcome.

I achieved my goal of posting at least 2 entries a week. I have done my best to publicize this little site with emails to all my classmates in all 5 of my classes. It did generate some attention. I did not have high expectations for the number of comments I’d receive, but all the ones that appeared during the past 5 weeks bought smiles to my world. Thank you once again for your support!

When I did my project proposal, I envisioned the outcome to be a little different. I thought that I would simply use this as a space to repost my thoughts that I’ve already formulated for class, but instead I built off of the materials given to me. It was more fun this way. I ended up doing things in more interesting ways.

“Women and Literature” is a part of our daily life. The way we view literature, women writers, and the two sexes in general are affected by our history and experiences. There are many topics and so much that a person can do with this subject. Nearly the later entries, I found it easy to incoporate a piece of work from class with one of my seemingly non-"Women and Literature" topics. “The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn"(Gloria Steinem). I believe that is one of the many things that I’ve gained from this class – to further dissect my thoughts and understand discourse and revision. We need to unlearn in order to learn.

If I could do something different with this project, I would only have wished to start it earlier. There’s still so many stories, poems, and ideas that I have not shared my views on with the world! I even had a list, and I have not even post ½ of what I had planned. I wish that my entries were written more dramatically and more interesting. I know, because I’ve been told, that I have a stiff way of writing. I have no clue how to change that though. More writing perhaps?

Now, Fall Quarter of 2009 is over, and the holiday spirit is in the air! I want to keep this blog alive, but I know that without the class, I probably would not be so timely with updating. Not only that, I would definitely have a smaller audience. I am not sure who even comes here!

If I do keep this going, I will broaden the topics to news, literature, movies, and other pieces of work that trigger my attention. This definitely will not become a personal life Blog! I have another place of entries like that. I love this space and what I have done with it. “A Sparrow’s Escape” has truly allowed me to 'find faith and speak words I never thought I’d say.'

“Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.” ~ Louisa May Alcott

"Time is what prevents everything from happening at once." ~ John Archibald Wheeler

Feel free to leave me some feedback as to what you think! Perhaps I will have another class in the Winter quarter that will allow me to do this again! I wish that I could have put another English course for next quarter~ But, we can only do so much!

Would you still want this to keep going? Would you continue to support me if I do?

Embrace Your Dark Side

2009-12-09T13:05:00.000-08:00

They say that girls mature earlier than boys, and so it seems as we see so many female cartoon characters evolving to become more lady-like and shedding their early-days naivety. But, do not worry. The boys are not that far behind. For starters, Mickey Mouse is going to take the first step and reveal to us his inner dark side which he’s been hiding from the public for so long, because he thought you were too innocent to handle it.

Welcome Epic Mickey.

Warren Spector, his creator, says that he wants Mickey to “be able to be naughty – when you’re playing as Mickey you can misbehave and even a little selfish.” He is “being pulled out of” his “comfortable and safe cartoon world” and dumped into, what Spector calls, “the cartoon wasteland” where the retired and forgotten Disney characters live (Nelson). However, Spector ensures us that Mickey will never be “evil.”

The cheery, nice, and giggly Mickey Mouse that you’ve always known is no more. He is dark, and he is dangerous. He’s decided to get in touch with his base animalistic self that he’s suppressed for so long and is going to release it to save a lost and broken world. There is no escape from this transformation, because “the more destructive [Mickey’s] behavior [is in the game], the more the famous mouse becomes to resemble a rat” (Nelson). Mickey Mouse did some serious soul searching into his hereditary.

Dear Donald Duck will also be featured in this apocalyptic vision of Disney as Animatronic Donald.

What in the world happened to him? Did he get kidnapped and forced to assimilate with robots a.k.a. the Borg in Star Trek? There goes the “uncle” I remember. He probably doesn’t even recognize Daisy at this point now.

What is the message of all these cartoon transformations? Are we supposed to embrace our darkness and become one with our “naughty” but not “evil” side?

More like, are males the ones who are to have an outlet for their animalistic desires? Should they be like the wolves mentioned in Angela Carter’s “The Company of Wolves,” that in the midst of all their aggression, strength, power, and hunger, they also contain a hint of sadness for there is no redemption and satisfaction for their own appetite? Let out the beast inside all humans that we wish to tame but cannot, for it is a beast we all fear and cannot never get rid of no matter how hard we try. This dark world is a dangerous yet alluring game.

As the males turn into cunning and slick predators, the classic female characters are fed a completely different message. It reminds me of the main character of Joyce Carol Oates’ “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" Connie, a young fifteen years old girl who “had a quick, nervous giggling habit of craning her neck into mirrors or checking other people’s faces to make sure her own was alright,” knew that “she was pretty and that was everything.”
“Connie sat with her eyes closed in the sun, dreaming and dazed with the warmth about her as if this were a kind of love, the caresses of love, her mind slipped over onto thoughts of the boys she had been with the night before and how nice he had been, how sweet it always was, not the way someone like June would suppose but sweet, gently, the way it was in movies and promised in songs." - "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?"It seems that the media wants people to become more in touch with their sexuality, although the forms of the sexes’ sexualities are entirely different. One is a soft, glamorous, and naturally beautiful type of attraction. The other is a dangerous, predatory, and aggressive sort that is supposed to be equally as enticing.

Whose side are you on?

For more interesting articles:
Azaria Jagger takes a look at the sexual undertones/overtones of Epic Mickey - Mickey Mouse's 'Naughty' Makeover Promises to be Disturbing
The New York Times Article by Brooks Barnes - After Mickey’s Makeover, Less Mr. Nice Guy
Article by Sara Nelson - Mickey Mouse gets a makeover in Epic new video game - and this time Disney's giving him a dark side

Goodbye Childhood, Hello Modern World!

2009-12-08T17:02:00.000-08:00

Remember your childhood when everything was clean, innocent, and simple? I’m not sure what type of cartoons you grew up watching, but I remember the cute Hello Kitty, nice Mickey Mouse, and heck, I even wanted to have Donald Duck for an uncle once upon a time. Cartoons should be everlasting, right? These characters belong in Neverland with Peter Pan and his little fairy. They symbolize a world that will never change, a time filled with just happiness and hope, and unicorns flying with my little ponies.

What is happening to people that they feel the need to “change things up”? I’m not against change, but it truly depends on what types of changes are being done! Look at how Hello Kitty is being portrayed!
Do I really want my little sister or future daughter to fall in love with a toy like this? I remember when I wanted to have a bow in my hair just like Hello Kitty. What are kids going to ask for now? “I want Hello Kitty’s garter – I want a heart on it!!”

Apparently, everyone grows up – even the ones who are supposed to be ageless. That just goes to show you how quick things are changing. Hello Kitty is not the only one hitting puberty. Click on the pictures & links to more detailed and interesting information!

Dora the Explorer. Although I don’t think she is going to be doing any exploring with her new getup – or is she?

Tattoo Barbie. I’m sure she regrets that one! She’s not even with Ken anymore. It’s Blaine now, isn’t it?

Strawberry Shortcake. Not only does she lose her old wardrobe and candy, she also loses her baby fat!

Sun-Maid Raisins Girl - a fairly iconic little girl from the olden days without an actual name. Now, she’s going “Hollywood”! New, improved, & modernized. She’s been nipped and tucked and has a brand new face! So maybe, "just maybe, you'll become a big hollywood star."

Where has my childhood gone? Did society go and take them away from me just to leave me behind in the cold, harsh world? Am I the only one who’s unrealistically holding on to the past too tightly?

Is it so wrong to want to look back and see sunshine and rainbows in a world that I will never live in again?

Is that just too much to ask for!?

You're SO typical!

2009-12-03T18:43:00.000-08:00

"You’re such a typical _____." What do you think when someone says that to you? Do you feel proud, ashamed, or angry?

Here is a snippet of a conversation I shared with an acquaintance some time ago.

Me: Yeah, I like pink.
He said: I should have known.
Me: What does that mean?
He said: Nothing =)

<some time later>

Me: My favorite Disney movie is Cinderella.
He said: I knew it.
Me: What? What do you mean “you knew it”?
He said: You’re such a typical girl.
Me: What does that have to do with anything?
He said: Nothing, it’s just who you are.

Hold it right there. I don’t know about you, but I certainly was not very happy at this point. This came from a person that I barely knew, and I was pretty offended. I probably knew him for at most 3 weeks when I had this conversation with him, and I only saw him for one class that was held two days a week.

I don’t think that he had a right to judge me so quickly; he didn’t even know who I am! I’m not a “typical” girl. I am completely clueless on how to do makeup, how to dress in style, how to sew, how to cook, or how to clean – not that these are bad qualities; I’m just not as blessed with such skills as others. (Goodness, I’m starting to sound a little like Mike, huh? Perhaps I should join a “Women Anonymous”?)

The only things he knew about me at this point were that I like cute things, I happen to like pink (even though my favorite color is white), and I like the Disney movie Cinderella. He calls me “typical” solely based on these facts. Isn’t that jumping a little too quickly to conclusions?

The word “typical” has such a negative connotation. “He’s such a typical man. She’s a typical woman. They’re the typical jocks.” I am not sure if I’m being pessimistic, but those sentences do not sound like compliments. Perhaps it is because my perception of a “typical woman” differed from his assumptions. In a way, I feel that this phrase puts down my self-worth and categorizes me as a girl who simply likes shiny things, love at first sight, cooking, and cleaning. I could very well call him a “typical man” for calling me a “typical girl.”

I admit that I do have certain qualities and like certain things that most people would consider to be feminine attributes. Given a different context and perhaps a different person, I may not have been as offended. I am not active, completely incompetent in sports, dislikes competition and aggression, and extremely emotionally sensitive.

Perhaps you would argue that I am a “typical” girl, but I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be put in a group based solely on some of the things that I do, because that is only a part of me and the whole of me. It is not my true identity. It is not who I am and how I would want to define myself.

“Typical” is a word that promotes assumptions, and assumptions do not lead to positive outcomes. When people do not share the same ideas and generalizations, damaged is caused. We do not like to be categorized. We like to think of ourselves as unique individuals.

We want to be recognized. We want to be heard. We want to be seen.

We want to shine.

We do not want to be “typical.”

Do you?

Typical Assumptions

2009-12-01T18:01:00.000-08:00

Warning: There is going to be a lot of generalizations in this post. They may not be, and probably aren’t, accurate. They are simply the thoughts that came across my mind. I mean no offense to anyone!
“Typical, typical, typical.” How many times have you heard this and understood what that person was referring to based solely on that phrase? It seems that this one word provides answers and explanations anyone would need without actually explaining anything.

Quoting from Professor Lant’s Week 2 lecture, “the use of the word ‘typical’ is interesting, because it really does bring to the surface the shape of our discourse on that subject along with all our assumptions and thoughts.” This simple word contains the concepts and generalizations shared by a familiar culture, experiences, and perceptions.

How much does this word actually contain?
WKUK – Saturday
What pops through your mind as you watched the above clip? How would you describe the man, David, in the video?

My first reaction was to chuckle. But, the first sentence I actually said was, “Such a typical man.” Why is David typical? He is childish. They do say that a man never truly grows up, and that he will always have a child inside of him. And, in general, a man matures later than a woman. David certainly exercises that to the fullest extent. He is reckless. He does whatever he wants without thinking about the consequences. He comes back with his knee bruised expecting to be taken care of by his wife.

David wishes for freedom. He does not want to be bounded by a home, much less a woman figure who reminds him of his mother. He is defiant against orders and constraints placed on him. He wants to play. He wants to be free.
How many times have you heard that message about a man, rather in the media or in real life?

Now, generally, when I think of a “typical” man, I think of Mike from Men Anonymous.Men Anonymous - Step One

Mike cannot and does not clean. His whole house is a mess. Garbage is everywhere. He drinks straight out of the milk carton. He can’t cook or even cut an apple. He is lost. The thing that makes Mike untypical is the fact that he admits and feels desperate, because he is so lost. Hence, he is taking the 1st step - “admitting that you’re powerless.” Mike says one line in this video, and it says it all. “For the last 32 years, I’ve been a man.” He is admitting that he is incompetent and powerless because his lifestyle as a typical man.

Mike and David are so different, yet I still used the word “typical” to describe the two of them. There are actually many more qualities I can come up with when I think of a "typical" man. The simple word contains so much meaning. It is unlimited, yet so limiting at the same time. Because of this word, we stereotype strangers and immediately categorize others. We make automatic assumptions and form false impressions of people the moment this word enters our minds.

“Typical” is a dangerous word.

Let’s play the “typical” test. If I told you that he was a typical man, what would you think of? What about a typical woman?

Happy Gobble Gobble Day!

2009-11-26T13:05:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!
Hope you all had a great time eating and having fun with the ones you love!

The Calling of "Chocolat"

2009-11-25T18:08:00.000-08:00

Chocolat is the perfect movie for the holiday season. It’s warm; it’s joyous; and it’s “sinfully delicious.” Through a “re-vision” of this amazing film, it is as much of a heart-warming movie as it is a feminist movie.

Chocolat features a young, independent mother, Vianne, who enters a small, conservative, and religious French town with her daughter, and she opens a chocolate store during Lent. The town mayor, Comte de Reynaud, is enraged by her actions and even fears her influence, because Vianne threatens to break his traditions. He is a strict man and wishes to rule the town with an iron fist. He has been successful until the presence of Vianne and her chocolate.

Vianne is a foreigner. She travels in a bright red cape in which her daughter also has. She follows to North Wind, and allows it to take her wherever it calls her to. She is not religious, because she does not believe in such restrictive rules. She is not married, and she has a daughter. Vianne stands for everything that the town is not.

This story reminds me of another tale - "The Women Men Don’t See” by Alice B. Sheldon (actual story provided.) Sheldon depicts a woman, Ruth Parson, who is traveling alone with her daughter, and the story tells that they have already been to a couple of places. Parson’s family does not involve men. Ruth’s mother raised her alone, and Ruth raised her daughter alone. Furthermore, Ruth and her daughter leave Earth together; if her daughter is with child, then her daughter will also raise that child alone.

For some unknown reason, all the women in the Parson family remain single, and the men’s only role is to provide the seed for the next generation. It is as if independence runs through the women’s veins. It is in their blood. Vianne comes from a similar culture where the women roam free to travel, to explore, to help, and to fight. Men are not involved. They follow the call of the North Wind.

Another interesting similarity is the influence of “Maya” culture. Ruth and her daughter traveled to many Maya sites and were supposed to be going to another, and her daughter is later involved briefly with the Mayan pilot. If you notice Vianne’s sign, it says “Chocolaterie Maya.” Her chocolates are based on the Mayan recipe.

However, unlike Ruth, Vianne is definitely “memorable.” The sidestories involve how Vianne helps different villagers. Most of them star a female character, rather than male character - an eldery woman with an equally strong spirit, a wife with an unpassionate spouse, a woman trapped with an abusive husband, and more.

Vianne and her chocolates are exotic with the power to "awaken the passion," and that is exactly why she is not to be accepted. The town’s people call her “some kind of a radical.” A child calls her “an atheist.” Although he does not know what that word means, the way he says it implies a strong, negative connotation as if Vianne is associated with the devil.

Needless to say, Vianne infuriates Comte de Reynaud. He calls her a “brazen” woman and fakes sympathy for her “illegitimate child.” He is threatened by her, because she “laughs” at the town’s, namely his, traditions. She wears vivid colors and has a signature red cape while the main colors of the town are grey, black, and white. Chocolate is sensual; not only that, Vianne’s chocolates are exotic. She is the embodiment of life and its sins.

This single woman represents a foreign power that this one man is afraid of. His world is changed, and not in the way that he wants. She is independent and will bow down to no man. He is terrified of her potential, yet he can do nothing to suppress her. He then tries to prevent the town’s people from further succumbing to her influence by calling her “satanic.” She is also immoral, for she associates herself with the gypsies who are boycotted for immorality. She is a black-hole to his universe.

Chocolat is a story of a woman’s mission to bring joy to a village that has long forgotten the meaning of happiness and the true meaning of life. Life is not all about strictly following rules and traditions. Life does not mean for one to be serious and solemn all the time. Life is about letting oneself go and remembering what little things make the heart beat and make the heart melt. Life is knowing how to give and accept kindness and care. Life is about the unrestrained expression of love.

Life is living with passion.

Can You Hear Me, Mother?

2009-11-21T21:10:00.000-08:00

I found this across the web years ago, and I came across it again today. I am not trying to change your views and beliefs for anything. I simply felt the urge to share this with you all after I read it. I thought it was a very moving piece.

I know some people feel like there should be the ability to have abortions. I understand especially if they were raped, but there are better ways to handle it. You can view the baby as a gift from God instead of a burden from a traumatic experience.

Month one
Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two
Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three
You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four
Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six
I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven
Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

A Woman's Right - Breastfeeding in Public

2009-11-20T22:54:00.000-08:00

Have you ever seen a mother breastfeed her child in public? After all, it is a natural body function, and it is legal in multiple states.

Why should these mothers be looked at any differently than any other women walking down on the street? The baby is simply eating his/her meal just as any toddler or adult would. Would you stare at other people over the age of 3 for eating in public? Perhaps in the library where they aren’t supposed to or if they were making some kind of dramatic scene, but in most cases, you wouldn’t give them a second thought.

But, is there a line as to where these mothers can breastfeed their child?

Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against breastfeeding in public. I work at a retail store that sells baby clothes, and we have a special chair just for mothers who wish to breastfeed their child in. I am used to such scenes and feel no awkwardness towards them.

However, just the other evening when I was on the bus during a busy rush hour, I saw a woman with an about 1-2 years old boy. The boy started whining, but he wasn’t creating much of a disturbance. The next thing I know was that the woman began to breastfeed her child.

Do keep in mind that this small bus was already packed with people. There was a man in front of her who was holding on the railings and another man who was sitting beside her. Needless to say, it was a very awkward situation. I am pretty sure that it was not very comfortable for the men around her. I believe that I even saw the man who was standing directly in front of her blush.

Yes, breastfeeding in public is a “basic civil right.” And yes, breast feeding “should be encouraged and not hidden.” But, shouldn’t mothers still be aware of where in public they choose to do this? I am not sure if the child then was suffering severely from hunger or not, but his cries did not suggest that he was in pain. Perhaps there should be more discretion in this act?

What are your thoughts?

How would you feel if you were on a bus and the person seated in front of you began breastfeeding her baby? Would it be okay? Or how about in a restaurant, would you feel any different?

Society's Needed Female Model

2009-11-18T02:18:00.001-08:00

Referring back to Leslie Griffith’s article “First lady needs to get beyond pretty in pink,” we are in need of finding a woman who can temper “the testosterone with reason and [can help] an often-isolated president the condition of the people living in the nation he governs for them.” Who can be the “hero” that young women “need” these days?

I suppose Hillary Clinton would be the person that Griffith slightly implies, for “Hilary in blue slacks” is a “nightmare” for the men. She is certainly a threat. To quote a male professor of my friend, “Hilary is the empowered woman – a woman as far as we know. She is the Judas goat (the one goat that leads the herd to slaughter) in her feminist views, but she’s working for the bigger conspiracy.” He even implies that she may not be a woman because of her actions.

The whole controversy as to whether Clinton should or should not be supported in her ways reminds me of a video I made back in High School in 2007 for a government/economics class (posted below.) The point of this “advertisement” was to show the different ways politics used propaganda and its various methods. (Can you catch them?)

Anyhow, I found my video quite fitting for this topic! It definitely shows the different aspects of Hillary Clinton, and I do applaud her for her bravery and willingness to continue to participate strongly in the political world.

Hillary Clinton - Bringing Sexy Back

Please excuse the amateur editing! Take some time and watch it ^^ It’s short enough~ You will definitely see the many faces of Hillary Clinton. I put a lot of thought in choosing the quotes and the different music choices at that time! (Ohh goodness, this video just shouts youth - and not in the good way)

Who else do you think would fit into the role of a contemporary female model?

Legally Blonde Exists in Real Life?

2009-11-17T18:33:00.000-08:00

"Legally Blonde” as a simple comedy film filled with jokes heavily laced with stereotypes. A bubbly sorority girl who majored in fashion merchandising decides to conquer the political world in a bright pink suit. A movie that most consider to be more or less unrealistic since the general picture of politics is serious and more intense than how “Legally Blonde” portrays that world to be. However, the scary thing is that it isn’t that far from reality.

Leslie Griffith’s article “First lady needs to get beyond pretty in pink” raises that exact question as to why presidents’ wives and other ladies involved sided by sided with men in power feel the need to maintain a look “that makes [them] look as if [they] are a Paris Hilton-ized Size 2.” They are “forced to project a pretty-in-pink image.” Why is there even a need for these women to appear beautiful to even have a spot besides these men?

As Griffith mentioned, we often see the older man-younger women teams on television. It reminds me of Sandra Cisneros's poem “Old Maids,” where it implies that women have some sort of expiration date. Youth does not stay forever, in particular a woman’s youth, and once past this limit, the woman is rendered useless. Oddly enough, for some reason, it is “acceptable” to see old men with younger girls; at times it is even admired. There may even be envious thoughts towards the old man who somehow got a hold of such an attractive young female and so full of life while the man could very well be on the verge of death. It seems that her purpose is to "liven" up the older man. When have you seen an older and serious woman and a perky young man on television and being a team together?

If women are objectified, then they are less threatening. As my mother always said, “Numbers are dead; I can handle them. How could you let something that’s not even alive defeat you?” The same concept could be applied here. If women can be seen as vases and portraits, simply to be admired and act as background sceneries, then they can be conquered. They are no longer threats. “Hilary in blue slacks” is a “nightmare,” because she is too similar to them. She is trying too much to integrate into their lifestyles and too close to taking over their lives.

Another question rises as we wonder when did we develop the idea that if you aren’t attractive, then eventually your other half will leave you? Shouldn’t marriage and a relationship be more than just the shallow surface? Where did inner beauty disappear to? It is one thing that this thought exists in the working world, but it is another when we realize that it also exists in our intimate lives. Again, it ties back to the poem “Old Maids." What happens when the man gets old? Does the wife leave the man because of his age and wrinkly appearance? What happened to staying together in sickness and in health till death do they part?

Why can’t we just stay young together in terms of our energy while refusing to let appearances cloud our judgment? The only thing we should admire from youth is the willingness to be rash and exclaim our thoughts – to have the ability to say what’s on our minds and deal with the consequences later.

Be empowered. Just do it! Be “young”! Have fun! Stay cool!

Be brave.

A Bootcamp for Emotions

2009-11-12T12:39:00.000-08:00

Last time in Step 2, Mike in “Men Anonymous” learned the valuable lesson on “How to Communicate.” He learned how to express or at least seem like he is expressing “genuine” emotion and “feeling real.”

Men Anonymous - Step 3

The next step is to “build life skills,” which involves a series of intense training with his powerful coach. Under her special care, “there’s going to be blood, there’s going to be sweat…there will hopefully be some tears.” The word “tears” probably has two implications. It first suggests that the training will be so strenuous that these men will cave under the pressure, but the other connotation is that they will finally be in touch with their feelings and express openly – the point is to make them to cry.

To further exercise this skill, the coach forces them to watch a romantic comedy movie, because women “eat” this type of genre “up” and find it emotionally satisfying. As the coach states, “if you’re not crying, you’re not trying.” Crying is a physical sign of emotional outlet and often seen as a sign of weakness for males in general; hence, the men in “Men Anonymous” need to be comfortable with expressing themselves in this way to further connect with the ways that females are.

Step 3 is basically an emotions boot camp to further know the proper ways of behavior when dealing with a female. They taught to reform basic daily routines, such as how to go to the restroom, what to do with the toilet seat, how to say "I love you" out loud, how to deal with eating tofu, and how to order from a menu. The men do pushups while repeatedly saying “flush seat flush” to implant the foreign idea into their heads. They are even being prepared to overcome the embarrassment of buying pads.

To quote Mike about his training after he throws up after trying desperately to eat tofu, “it’s too much man; it’s too much.” It truly must be difficult to learn to behave and communicate a different way. It is as if the two sexes are two different species.

However, as we approach the finale of Step 3, Mike makes visible improvements. We see that he is the one who has “damp” eyes when watching a movie, and he knows how to order from a menu “properly” (although I still think he failed the tofu test – Is tofu really that bad? I love tofu! Is it because I’m a female? =O) Mike hugs the coach as he surpasses each harsh obstacles and even says aloud “love you coach” quite comfortably as a sign of gratitude. Mike is slowly having a breakthrough, and in the video’s sense, he is finally getting control and power over his life.

I feel that “Men Anonymous” illustrates the general and base stereotypes for both males and females in a funny, inoffensive way (at least that was not my intention.) Am I sadistic to say that I found Mike’s training pretty hilarious? I am actually finding myself laughing more and more as I rewatch and analyze his training. =D

I am so curious to know how you feel about Mike and "Men Anonymous!" The catch phrase for the program is “You’re a man. We can help.” Is Mike making improvement? Is the coach good? I think she's amazing now after the nth viewing of this video.

To Be Unheard, Isolated, & Discarded

2009-11-10T16:38:00.000-08:00

"Cassandra"
To me, one silly task is like another.
I bare the shambling tricks of lust and pride.
This flesh will never give a child its mother,—
Song, like a wing, tears through my breast, my side,
And madness chooses out my voice again,
Again. I am the chosen no hand saves:
The shrieking heaven lifted over men,
Not the dumb earth, wherein they set their graves.
- Louise Bogan
Such a simple poem, but its feelings are so intense! The anguish and the torment within oneself prove to be extremely difficult to bear that they threaten to rip from the inside out .

Bogan uses Cassandra, a Trojan prophetess, to illustrate the isolation and burdens felt by women. Cassandra is blessed with the gift of vision, but she is cursed so that no one will believe her words. She “bares the shambling tricks of lust and pride.” Despite the irony of her cursed blessing, there is a conflicted pride on having a power that everyone yearns after. Such is her burden to bear.

It is for the world to see, but the world will not listen to her. Hence, her gift cannot bear fruit. Her flesh “will never give a child its mother.” What can she claim to be her own when she cannot do anything with her powers? “Song, like a wing, tears through [her] breast, [her] side, and madness chooses out [her] voice again.” She wants to bold and different, yet she cannot be. The conflict tears her body and soul apart. She is mad, not only in the eyes of others, but also to herself.

For some reason, Louise Bogan’s poem “Cassandra” really spoke to me when I first came across it. The parallelism amazed me. I love her use of the character, Cassandra, to represent the female sex. Cassandra had such great powers, but no one recognizes or acknowledges her strengths. No one will listen to her. Females, much like Cassandra, hold much potential, but because it is foreign to our male dominated society; their strengths are overlooked and discarded. Again, similar to Cassandra, they wish to be bold and remain different, but no one will accept such distinctions.

By taking in the Louise Bogan and her identity into consideration, I believe that I felt an even greater connection to the contents and it gave me further passageway to the poem’s intended meaning. Cassandra is a parallel to Bogan’s life. She, much like the prophetess, holds a great deal of potential, but it is because of her identity, the foreignness of her work, and its difference compared to the rest of the world’s influence that she is pushed aside. She shares a voice with Cassandra’s isolation.

I really cannot place why I feel such a great connection to her poem. I do not think that I go through the same type of torment described. I doubt that I can correctly imagine what it would be like to be in either Cassandra’s or Bogan’s shoes. However, I assume that sense of disappointment and feeling of loneliness when one’s skill is disregarded resonates with many.

Who wants to be forgotten? Who wants their gifts to be ignored? Who wants to be cursed by loneliness, with no one to understand or willing to listen to your cries?

Do you share a voice with Cassandra?

Communication Style

2009-11-03T02:20:00.000-08:00

I am sure that most people share a common belief that men and women communicate differently. Most of the time we see women as the sex that need to talk their feelings out in order to express themselves and need verbal reassurance. Word are equally as important as words. We are also often led to believe that men tend to hold on to their thoughts and preserve a “manly” and “strong” image.

I recently came across a Youtube video titled “Men Anonymous.” It is about a man named Mike who feels helpless and powerless with his lifestyle as a man who can’t take care of himself, which causes him to seek help. This is Step 1. He has to go through 12 steps to complete his “training.” In Step 2 and the rest of the 12 steps, he and other men from his support group have a coach who teaches them the “proper” ways of communication, namely with females. It is a very entertaining way to show just how different and difficult it is to adapt a new communication style.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qy4j_A57M5k

I’ll share Step 2 right now. The coach, who is dealing with a group of men trying to master the ways of communication, speaks to the men with a blunt, direct tone. She goes straight into the point and gives short commands. That is the assumed communication style that men respond to. She adapts this man-like behavior or that of an authority figure, so that they will understand her and obediently follow her directions.

The beginning of Step 2 shows Mike doing an exercise where he is having a proper and “good” talk session with his coach posing to be his girlfriend or partner. The point is for Mike to provide his girlfriend reassurance of who she is, to admit to her that he respects her, and verbally state his support for her. He uses expressive adjectives and verbs in his speech to communicate emotions, a style that women tend to have rather than men. His coach comments, while using what Mike did as an example, that women will consider this as “genuine emotion” and “feeling real.” This video portrays female communication as a method to connect to each other and to work through together without caring for a particular outcome.

We see the second pair with two men. Expressing feelings verbally does not come directly to them. However, playing and being competitive with each other is their form of bonding. They become friends much faster and naturally than through speech. It is a more physical and less serious form of communication.

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-31T20:13:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween everyone! What are your plans for this holiday? Party? Scary movie? My plans are to do work and then homework! Whoo, just thinking about it gives me chills!

Nothing literature related for this entry~ I tend to stay away from reading scary stories. They tend to create even worse visuals than movies sometimes. I would like to share however, a trailer that I find to be very fitting for Halloween – Alice in Wonderland.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pS32b0VLkXk

Has anyone read the book? Truthfully speaking, the Disney version of the story scared me as a child. Seriously, that Cheshire Cat has such an eerie smile, and the Queen is just cruel! But, this new Tim Burton version takes
Alice in Wonderland to a whole new level with Johnny Depp as Mad Hatter – I suppose it’s not too much of a surprise. It’s also in 3D! Doesn't he remind you of The Joker from Batman though, in particular his laugh?

I am actually quite curious as to how Johnny Depp intends to portray this character. A part of me of is scared to watch it, but another part of me cannot resist! I suppose this is why they say that curiosity kills the cat.

Although based on the trailer, I do think that they should release this movie for Halloween instead of in March. I don’t think it’s very fitting for Easter even with the meadow and the bunny.

What's your Halloween flavor? =D Have a Happy Halloween!

Why Women & Literature?

2009-10-22T16:36:00.000-07:00

Why did I take this class even though I don't actually need it? I am an accounting major, and I already have my area C4 taken cared of~

I find that this is a very important subject because, as a female, I believe that I should understand how women express themselves through in such a male-dominated society even in the world of literature.

Disregarding the fact that I am a female, I think that we should see the world through the eyes of both sexes. As one of my group mate says, “Literature is a means of expression to the world, giving an audience a view into another's experience.” There are two sides to a coin, and it is important that we understand the differences between the two sides and broaden our horizons. We read to learn, to gain knowledge, and to discover the unknown; hence, anybody who contributes to such a cause deserves recognition and respect.

I admit that I first picked this class because of its convenience. I wasn’t really taking into the consideration of the importance of the course subject. I love reading, and it is simply much easier for me to discuss and share online. I have time to formulate my ideas and not risk stuttering or express my ideas incorrectly (I feel incredibly pressured in a classroom setting).

However, this class is also the reason why I am almost doing homework everyday! I take such a long time going over the readings and trying to break them down in order to do a thorough job.

After 5 weeks of such demanding work, I find myself still being able to say that I love it! I feel very satisfied with the amount of exposure I received towards works written by women and looking at them in depth, something I have not done in a very long time. I also have a helpful and organized professor, a wonderful teacher assistant who’s not bothered by my questions, and very kind group-mates!

Although it is quite a bit of work, it truly is a fulfilling class, and I find myself learning new things every week. Isn’t that the purpose of university life – life-long learning? We shouldn’t just aim to take all our major classes over with; we should learn to be well-rounded and enjoy the different subjects life has to offer! Something another one of my past English teacher had taught me =D

It’s definitely a choice I am willing to make. To me, it is not even considered a sacrifice.

Welcome!

2009-10-22T16:06:00.000-07:00

Hello all! This blog is my project for my English 3460 Women and Literature class! I will be sharing my responses to discussions throughout the course, opinions on certain pieces of works that spoke to me, and just random thoughts that relate to the subject!

Hopefully, I can update a couple of times a week. Feel free to comment any time! You don't even need to sign in or join to post, but it would be nice if you can leave some sort of identification so I'd know who you are!

So, be sure to keep checking back and stay in touch!

Enjoy!

Note for the Future:
Before I continue on with more posts, I must say that I truly mean no offense with what I will say. I understand that I may touch upon sensitive subjects, and I will try to be as careful as I can. I do not mean to attack or insult anyone out there. Please consider my commentaries with a carefree spirit~ ^^