Let me go. Set me free.

Unchain me.
Release me.
Free me from these binds.

Rip me apart.
Tear me up.
See what I’m made of.

Let me go.
Set me free.
I want to finally breathe again.

Yell. Hit. Shout.
Do what you will.

Hoping no longer suffices.
Fighting no longer makes sense.

All I’m asking for is an end.

Stop this pain.
End this hurt.
All I want is to be able to live again.

I’ll give in.
I’ll surrender.
I’ll do what you want me to.

Just release this hold you have on me, and
let me go.

Set me free.

~ April 24, 2011

InFlames

You will be the ashes on the floor,
the broken leaves abandoned on the ground,
the dirt left by the door.

You’ll be a bridge I got to burn.

You will be the blood dripping from my veins,
the tears I wipe away,
the pain I try to hide in vain.

You’re just a bridge I got the burn.

Floating in a sea of red,
all I want is to see -
to see more intention,
to see more passion,
to see more extermination.

You are just a bridge I got to burn.

You are the doll I locked away,
the witch dying on the stake,
the wall we got to break.

You are a bridge I got to burn.

Simply-
burn.
burn.
burn.

You are just a bridge I got to burn.

~ April 14, 2011

Summer's Presence

Summer is here when the calendar shows the date – June 1st.

Summer is here when schools finally announce their last day, their last hour, their last minute of the school year, and their students rush out shouting in joy, throwing their backpacks in random directions, and running to their friends’ homes to play games.

Summer is here when fields and fields of flowers rise up to greet the sun with bright smiles and take in the fresh dew resting on their petals.

Summer is here when the sky is left with nothing but a beautiful soft shade of blue and the round yellow yoke of the sun.

Summer is here when birds begin their nonstop chatter too early in the morning that carries onto the evening where crickets take their baton and begin their own version of singing.

Summer is here when you realize that you can no longer get SAD, but instead you get CHASED – Constantly Hyper-Active, Senseless, & Energetic Disorder.

Summer is here when little children run to follow the sweet melody of an ice-cream truck, only to have their delicious treats melt all over their pudgy hands and newly washed T-shirts as the ice-cream man drives away.

Summer is here when teenagers cram themselves into small cars to find an escape from the summer heat, only to arrive at the beach and receive no release whatsoever from the nonexistent wind.

Summer is here when you desperately try to cool yourself off in front of an opened refrigerator and roll pieces of ice down your arms, because you can’t take off anymore clothes and you feel as if you’re a crab in a boiling pot.

Summer is here when people who have not yet let go of their youth run around in the parks at midnight to play tag with their friends.

Summer is here when you can sit peacefully on your balcony with a glass of cold lemonade and lean back against your wooden chair to see the night sky.

Summer is here when you finally acknowledge its presence and existence, and you can longingly say at last –

“You are Here.”

~ May 17, 2010

The Temptation of Light

I rush towards the door,
unexpectedly eager to see the wonders of this world,
so very tempted by the rays of light
seeping
through its bottom.

The fast passing of two entities is ever so ordinary, ever so insignificant.
Like a quick, stolen glance that holds no meaning.

A hesitating step takes me into a world of wonders.

So foreign. So strange.
I can see the delicate, mystic melody floating in the air.
Its harmony echoing softly through the fields.
I follow its movement easily and dance along quietly with my fingers.

From that moment I knew.
That one,
simple glance was enough.
Brief but plenty.
It was a glimpse of happiness,
an escape of
daylight.

So colorful. So vibrant.
The flowers dance and rejoice around me.
I can feel their joyous celebration.
I can hear their cheers and laughter echoing in my ears.

Isn’t it so much better here?

So beautiful. So safe and comforting,
compared to before.

I have
fallen
in love with this fantasy.

How I want to dedicate my life to this world,
this land of light.

How eager I am to choose this life.

I cannot help but to embrace this cold, hard surface beneath my feet.

~ April 9, 2011

Down that Familiar Hole

Down, down, down.
To plunge into the hole.
To be immersed with the surrounding darkness.
To witness everything else falling alongside me.
Down, down, down.
To leave the world I know behind.
To feel the rush of ecstasy from entering a realm unknown.
To let the butterflies residing within me free and live at last.

How my stomach starts to turn and rushes out of my mouth,
to spill my guts, to spill my unease, to spill my needs, to spill myself, to spill my pain.

To imagine that people actually yearn for this rush,
this exhilarating feeling of being on a roller coaster ride,
this constant cycle of keeping yourself on your toes.

I cannot possibly understand. I am only forced to understand and be pulled into their world.

The more resistance, the greater the tension.

I can feel the gravity pulling my body apart.
Must I give in? Must I simply let go and allow this to take me where it wants?
Down, down, down.
My vision gone. My voice lost. My mind mad.
The impact too strong. Its effects too great.
I don’t feel like myself anymore.
Down, down, down.
Such a long journey that I’ve been forced to travel.
Let it stop.
Please let it end.
So far down..
I suppose I like the feel of this cold air,
those consuming shadows,
and the empty space.
Let me stay here.
Leave me be.
As I try to look up to see where I once began to fall into the hole,
the last speck of light is gone.

~ April 4, 2011

I Have

I have a peach on the table.

I have a hat sitting on a rack.

I have a spoon buried in my bag of chips.

I have a roll of tissue to help me through the day.

I have a pair of hands my mother desires.

I have a mind that my father wanted.

I have the flaws that my imaginary sister will never have.

I have legs that do not want to run on the streets.

I have the fears that my make-believe brother does not fear.

I have a candle sinking in a bowl of water.

I have a penguin that does not waddle.

I have a circle with no center, like a doughnut with no filling.

I have a pair of jeans that cannot be worn.

I have skin too tan to see the sun.

I have a snail that is burning from the salt.

I have a stone waiting for the waves,

waiting for the waves to tear its parts away and to lose them in the violent seas.

I have a pile of money buried underground.

I have road signs placed on every corner.

I have a list of people I’m dying to meet.

I have a rocket ready to fly into space.

I have

nothing.

~ February 6, 2010