Our Love for Rochester

Edward Rochester – a man with a grim, dark face & stern features, a man with a past unclear only to be revealed as unclean, and a man with perhaps questionable behavior.

Yet, even with all his flaws, externally and internally, this is the man of “every woman’s dream” (see video below). & yes, every woman’s notion of Edward Rochester is different because he is such an emotionally complex man, but undeniably, he is attractive.

What is so captivating about this man,
even after all his mistakes and faults,
that makes us unable to do anything but to forgive and continue to love him?
Rochester is a wild and passionate man. His excitingly mysterious personality is refreshing compared to the stale, static life we often lead. He is unafraid to express his emotions. He is free with his words and passions – a bit too excessively even. He dared to dream.

Just as Jane Eyre (& yours truly) finds Rochester’s personality refreshing, Jane’s personality to him is also a breath of fresh air. It is her spirit that he is attracted to and is captivated by. He understands and greatly values her for who she is underneath it all.

We love Rochester first because he is a passionate man that speaks the language of our hearts and sings the melody that the world has stopped our spirits to sing. He wants to release us from the cage that society has placed us in.

How can we resist the temptation of such calling?
He beckons us like the Sirens beckon sailors.

We love Rochester second because he loves us for our minds. “Your mind is my treasure” (Jane Eyre, Chapter 27). Such words from a man who has gone through the painful mistakes and fruitless sins of shallow relationships for beauty, money, and social considerations; such words from a man who’s yearned for so long for a kindred soul to which he finally finds in Jane, we cannot help but to take these words to heart with genuineness.

We know for certain that it is our spirits that speak to each other and that appearances are of no consequence; after all, he is no beauty himself.

As much as we want romanticize and idealize Rochester (as he does with Jane), we cannot ignore his humanness and ugly crimes – the most fatal one of hiding and lying about his marriage and believing that he can get away with it as well as trying to make a wife in his eyes and develop her into his fantasies.

He forces us into his fairy tales that he uses to evade reality, and they are so far from reality. As much as we wish to indulge ourselves in them with him, we know who we truly are – his fantasies simply are not what we are. We have to force ourselves away from this unhealthy relationship.

As painful and horrible as it is to turn away from him, we must, because indulging in such unrestrained passion will only lead to destruction as reality unfolds.

Many people will ask how can you love this man so much? He locked a wife in the tower, led a bachelor’s life, hid the truth from you, and hid the truth from you?

To them, we say, have man no sin? Have you no sympathy for a man who has suffered and isolated himself from the world because of guilt? He may be imperfect, but neither am I perfect. He has his past, and I have mine.

And mind you, we are not so foolish to just blindly accept and condone and excuse his wrongs. Oh outside spectator, you do not understand how much strength was actually required to leave him because of how morally wrong the situation was. Forgiveness may have been given easily, especially with our unconditional love for him, but wrongs cannot be vanished into thin air.

Rochester does indeed suffer and is punished severely for his sins, and he is left blinded and crippled for them.

We love Rochester third because, in the end, he can finally see us and accept us for who we are, as we are, in reality. As damaged as he may be, the spirit that lived inside of him that first responded to the calling within us is still there. He is still just as eager to receive us as the first time when he came across our spirits.

His once excessive choleric temperament is controlled. He does not place us on his own idealistic pedestal anymore. We are now truly his equally, and we can live side by side as equals.

He is ready to truly love.

We say to him, “choose then, sir – her who loves you best.”

He says, “I will choose –

her I love best.”

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A little hesitant to show a video with an actor portraying Rochester, but good commentary on the character!

Dependent on Others' Strength - Jane Eyre

Jane Eyre’s entire life has been a journey of learning to be independent, to finally be able to settle in a place where she is entirely at peace without the dependence and influence of anyone around her.

“If you fasten your feebleness on someone else’s strength, the existence for you must be a scene of continual change and excitement or else the world is a dungeon.” – Jane Eyre, Chapter 21

The quote, although not directed to Jane, pretty much describes the way that Jane has been leading her life. Jane has never seen value in her identity because of her status as an orphan, a poor person, and a woman. She struggles to keep her emotions and unique spirit in a world that tries very hard to force her to fully suppress herself. She seeks out, perhaps unknowingly, for figures to help her deal with her conflicts with her external environment and within herself.

In her childhood, she attaches herself to Helen Burns, who does well to advice Jane on a mentality that will keep her sane in this world. After Helen’s death, Jane finds support in Miss Temple. When Miss Temple marries and must leave Jane, Jane feels trapped by Lowood. She grows tired of the rules and systems that she became accustomed to, which was fine to her until her strong figure Miss Temple leaves, and yearns to be a part of the real world that is full of sensations and excitements.

After Lowood, Jane meets Edward Rochester. His untamed passion speaks to her own, hidden passion. She feels and knows that their spirits are the same. She cannot help but be greatly influenced by him and become exceptionally attached to his strengths, personality, and spirit. But, Jane also recognizes the dangers of leading a life being consumed entirely by urges; it is not realistic and ultimately destructive.

She must leave Rochester.

We see through Jane’s life that until she finds her strength that solely comes from within herself, she cannot settle down. She must keep moving or else she will feel a sense of entrapment in regards to her identity.

Jane returns to Rochester because she is sure of her identity and strengths; she has a family, she has an inheritance, and she is an independent woman. She can stand strong on her own. She is ready to love and welcome the passion that is Rochester without the fear of being consumed by his fire.

In the end, Jane Eyre and Edward Rochester can finally be together, because they are two completely renewed puzzle pieces that have each gone through their own version of tribulation and cleansing to form independent yet matching identities in order to experience a genuinely lasting love between two people.

It is a love where both people are certain and content of their own world to let the integrity of the other remain intact as the two collide.

It is a love that truly fulfills each other.

Overwhelmed with Passion for "Jane Eyre"

I fell in love with Jane Eyre the moment I read the story,
and I have yet to fall out of love.

It was the type of love that captivated all of my attention and overwhelmed my senses. I couldn’t think clearly to process, let alone answer, the questions that rushed to enter my mind. I could simply let the waves of events carry me through their motions.

As much as I tried to remain logical and bring myself back to reality, I could not resist the temptation to give in to the overpowering emotions that I felt.

It truly was love at first read.

Perhaps I had been so in tune with the story that I allowed the emotions that Jane Eyre was experiencing to take over and become a part of me and my own emotional experience. I understood, if not exactly felt, the struggles between passion and logic that Jane fought through.

It is so easy to let passion to capture your senses because its power can consume you like a fire. It is so powerful that if there is no balance between reason and passion, the fires of desire will destroy you.

Charlotte Bronte illustrates this point quite clearly with many character’s deaths, such as Bertha who’s passion not only drove her to insanity but became so uncontrollable that caused her to start a literal fire that led her to her death. Even with St. John Rivers, who was a symbol of reason, his strong determination in remaining rational and in control became an obsession that ultimately led him to his death.

Jane Eyre is a book that illustrates the importance of internal balance in one’s life. A person cannot be led purely by fervent passion or solely on logical, emotionless thoughts. Too much of either one would be destructive to the body, heart, and spirit.

Jane Eyre took me along with her as she walked down her path to self discovery, which is exactly what she wanted I’m sure because the story is written as her memoir. In the end of her tale, Jane is certain of her value in her own identity and is at peace with her decisions as well as the life that she chose to lead.

It is only after hearing her ending that I found myself ready to reflect back on the series of events that happened and to begin seeking answers to the many questions and emotions that threatened to overwhelm me. But even to this day, I still find it hard to calm myself down when I think about this amazing story.

The influence of passion is so powerful that its sensations can be communicated and transferred through mere words.

I don’t believe that we are ever released from its hold.

Precious Love

My dear, where have you been
all my life?
Time is being wasted when you are not with me and if only
time can stop when you are by my side.

Darling, don’t you know how precious you are to me? You are the
apple of my eye.
My love, come over here already so that we can begin
our lives together, from
now on and forever will we live in happiness and love.

Wouldn’t life be so precious then?

~ May 12, 2011

Only You

Just because
of who you are and
how you live your life,
never had I admired someone so much that

the simple thought of you brings a smile to my face.

Never had I been so enamored with someone who I barely know, and

this is all because of

you.

Deep inside, I know that this will never last, but
every time I feel like breaking down, only you can cure me of my pain and

save me from the cruelty of reality.

Please let me see you a little longer, and

please, let me stay in this dream with you a little longer.

~ May 12, 2011