Dependent on Others' Strength - You

“If you fasten your feebleness on someone else’s strength, the existence for you must be a scene of continual change and excitement or else the world is a dungeon.” – Jane Eyre, Chapter 21

How true this quote is. & not just for fictional characters from the lines of a novel, but for you and me as well.

How many times have you sought out a friend for support?

By no means am I against that, in fact, I think it is needed that we have people who understand us, who accept us for who we are, and have them by our sides as we live in this world that tends to leave us feeling lonely and unwanted. Surely it is not hard to see why Jane and Edward felt such a strong attachment to each other.

But how many times have you constantly sought out the same friend for the same exactly problem from all those years ago? Or maybe it’s not the same friend, but simply different people?

How many times have you felt that satisfying release from being freed of the burdens from the chains that have tied your heart down for so long even for a short moment?

How comforting and freeing it is to have someone to encourage or just listen to all the torments and struggles that your spirit has been forced to endure – even for a short moment.

In the end, the problems don’t go away. The chains remain. When the pressure rises again from within your heart, you are left to relive this cycle of seeking out a kindred spirit.

When we depend on another human being to be strong for us, we are simply finding excuses for ourselves to not face reality. It is simply a means to find a momentary borrowed strength to escape the pains in life.

Eventually, we will grow tired of these dependent relationships because we feel that they are not enough to cover the pain that we feel and is constantly threatening to resurface.

Only when the strength comes from a source within ourselves can we conquer the pains of life. Only then will we stop moving from one external and fleeting source of strength to another.

When the pressures rise again from within your heart - when you are ready - you can find the power to force them back down.

Be strong for yourself, because no one can be strong for you.

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Have you fasten your feebleness on someone else's strength?

Dependent on Others' Strength - Jane Eyre

Jane Eyre’s entire life has been a journey of learning to be independent, to finally be able to settle in a place where she is entirely at peace without the dependence and influence of anyone around her.

“If you fasten your feebleness on someone else’s strength, the existence for you must be a scene of continual change and excitement or else the world is a dungeon.” – Jane Eyre, Chapter 21

The quote, although not directed to Jane, pretty much describes the way that Jane has been leading her life. Jane has never seen value in her identity because of her status as an orphan, a poor person, and a woman. She struggles to keep her emotions and unique spirit in a world that tries very hard to force her to fully suppress herself. She seeks out, perhaps unknowingly, for figures to help her deal with her conflicts with her external environment and within herself.

In her childhood, she attaches herself to Helen Burns, who does well to advice Jane on a mentality that will keep her sane in this world. After Helen’s death, Jane finds support in Miss Temple. When Miss Temple marries and must leave Jane, Jane feels trapped by Lowood. She grows tired of the rules and systems that she became accustomed to, which was fine to her until her strong figure Miss Temple leaves, and yearns to be a part of the real world that is full of sensations and excitements.

After Lowood, Jane meets Edward Rochester. His untamed passion speaks to her own, hidden passion. She feels and knows that their spirits are the same. She cannot help but be greatly influenced by him and become exceptionally attached to his strengths, personality, and spirit. But, Jane also recognizes the dangers of leading a life being consumed entirely by urges; it is not realistic and ultimately destructive.

She must leave Rochester.

We see through Jane’s life that until she finds her strength that solely comes from within herself, she cannot settle down. She must keep moving or else she will feel a sense of entrapment in regards to her identity.

Jane returns to Rochester because she is sure of her identity and strengths; she has a family, she has an inheritance, and she is an independent woman. She can stand strong on her own. She is ready to love and welcome the passion that is Rochester without the fear of being consumed by his fire.

In the end, Jane Eyre and Edward Rochester can finally be together, because they are two completely renewed puzzle pieces that have each gone through their own version of tribulation and cleansing to form independent yet matching identities in order to experience a genuinely lasting love between two people.

It is a love where both people are certain and content of their own world to let the integrity of the other remain intact as the two collide.

It is a love that truly fulfills each other.

Dependent on Others’ Strength – Edward Rochester

“If you fasten your feebleness on someone else’s strength, the existence for you must be a scene of continual change and excitement or else the world is a dungeon.” – Jane Eyre, Chapter 21

I definitely think that this quote represents the lives and tendencies of the 2 main characters of Jane Eyre. Let's begin our reflections with our leading male character.

Edward Rochester may have been a strong and passionate man, but he still has his weaknesses.

He is still helpless, in particular in his entrapment by a forced marriage. Because of his inescapability from this situation that he so desperately resents, he is constantly trying to “free” himself by being involved with many temporary mistresses. He fails to find genuine solace in them because the short-lived relationships were not strong enough to sustain lasting excitements for him to feel the joys of life and to feel what it means to be alive again.

They are not enough for him.

He finally meets Jane – a girl whom he can see has a spirit the same as his and has such a strong and unconventional character that he realizes that she is the one who he has been searching for all along. She is the one who he can depend on and trust to revive his dead life.

As Rochester says, he is “a repentant man going against the world’s opinion to a gentle stronger, therefore by securing his own peace of mind and regeneration of life.” Jane Eyre is his “gentle stronger.” He believes her spirit is strong enough to sustain the peace in his life and to allow him to feel alive again.

She brings out the passion in him.

However, Jane realizes the dangers of such attachment and tells Rochester that “reformation should never depend on a fellow creature;” it must come from the strength within, a strength in which he must draw from God himself.

Furthermore, Jane sees that if she agrees to be with him as a mistress, one day he will also grow tired of her, and when her personality goes against his will, he will be “displeased” with her and cannot love her as he does now in his current stage of blinding passion for her.

Only when Rochester repents out of his own desire, strength, and will does he find true love and everlasting happiness. He may be physically handicapped, but his inner strength is so much more independent compared to before. He is no longer helpless spiritually.

He may be physically blind, but his heart is finally clear. His heart and mind are no longer clouded by his vehement passion.

He cannot fasten his inner weakness on Jane’s strength any longer.

He becomes his own person. He has found balance within himself.

His existence is finally at peace.

The world is no longer a dungeon for him.

Jane can finally return to him.