Our Love for Rochester

Edward Rochester – a man with a grim, dark face & stern features, a man with a past unclear only to be revealed as unclean, and a man with perhaps questionable behavior.

Yet, even with all his flaws, externally and internally, this is the man of “every woman’s dream” (see video below). & yes, every woman’s notion of Edward Rochester is different because he is such an emotionally complex man, but undeniably, he is attractive.

What is so captivating about this man,
even after all his mistakes and faults,
that makes us unable to do anything but to forgive and continue to love him?
Rochester is a wild and passionate man. His excitingly mysterious personality is refreshing compared to the stale, static life we often lead. He is unafraid to express his emotions. He is free with his words and passions – a bit too excessively even. He dared to dream.

Just as Jane Eyre (& yours truly) finds Rochester’s personality refreshing, Jane’s personality to him is also a breath of fresh air. It is her spirit that he is attracted to and is captivated by. He understands and greatly values her for who she is underneath it all.

We love Rochester first because he is a passionate man that speaks the language of our hearts and sings the melody that the world has stopped our spirits to sing. He wants to release us from the cage that society has placed us in.

How can we resist the temptation of such calling?
He beckons us like the Sirens beckon sailors.

We love Rochester second because he loves us for our minds. “Your mind is my treasure” (Jane Eyre, Chapter 27). Such words from a man who has gone through the painful mistakes and fruitless sins of shallow relationships for beauty, money, and social considerations; such words from a man who’s yearned for so long for a kindred soul to which he finally finds in Jane, we cannot help but to take these words to heart with genuineness.

We know for certain that it is our spirits that speak to each other and that appearances are of no consequence; after all, he is no beauty himself.

As much as we want romanticize and idealize Rochester (as he does with Jane), we cannot ignore his humanness and ugly crimes – the most fatal one of hiding and lying about his marriage and believing that he can get away with it as well as trying to make a wife in his eyes and develop her into his fantasies.

He forces us into his fairy tales that he uses to evade reality, and they are so far from reality. As much as we wish to indulge ourselves in them with him, we know who we truly are – his fantasies simply are not what we are. We have to force ourselves away from this unhealthy relationship.

As painful and horrible as it is to turn away from him, we must, because indulging in such unrestrained passion will only lead to destruction as reality unfolds.

Many people will ask how can you love this man so much? He locked a wife in the tower, led a bachelor’s life, hid the truth from you, and hid the truth from you?

To them, we say, have man no sin? Have you no sympathy for a man who has suffered and isolated himself from the world because of guilt? He may be imperfect, but neither am I perfect. He has his past, and I have mine.

And mind you, we are not so foolish to just blindly accept and condone and excuse his wrongs. Oh outside spectator, you do not understand how much strength was actually required to leave him because of how morally wrong the situation was. Forgiveness may have been given easily, especially with our unconditional love for him, but wrongs cannot be vanished into thin air.

Rochester does indeed suffer and is punished severely for his sins, and he is left blinded and crippled for them.

We love Rochester third because, in the end, he can finally see us and accept us for who we are, as we are, in reality. As damaged as he may be, the spirit that lived inside of him that first responded to the calling within us is still there. He is still just as eager to receive us as the first time when he came across our spirits.

His once excessive choleric temperament is controlled. He does not place us on his own idealistic pedestal anymore. We are now truly his equally, and we can live side by side as equals.

He is ready to truly love.

We say to him, “choose then, sir – her who loves you best.”

He says, “I will choose –

her I love best.”

---

A little hesitant to show a video with an actor portraying Rochester, but good commentary on the character!

Goodbye Childhood, Hello Modern World!

Remember your childhood when everything was clean, innocent, and simple? I’m not sure what type of cartoons you grew up watching, but I remember the cute Hello Kitty, nice Mickey Mouse, and heck, I even wanted to have Donald Duck for an uncle once upon a time. Cartoons should be everlasting, right? These characters belong in Neverland with Peter Pan and his little fairy. They symbolize a world that will never change, a time filled with just happiness and hope, and unicorns flying with my little ponies.

What is happening to people that they feel the need to “change things up”? I’m not against change, but it truly depends on what types of changes are being done! Look at how Hello Kitty is being portrayed!
Do I really want my little sister or future daughter to fall in love with a toy like this? I remember when I wanted to have a bow in my hair just like Hello Kitty. What are kids going to ask for now? “I want Hello Kitty’s garter – I want a heart on it!!”

Apparently, everyone grows up – even the ones who are supposed to be ageless. That just goes to show you how quick things are changing. Hello Kitty is not the only one hitting puberty. Click on the pictures & links to more detailed and interesting information!

Dora the Explorer. Although I don’t think she is going to be doing any exploring with her new getup – or is she?

Tattoo Barbie. I’m sure she regrets that one! She’s not even with Ken anymore. It’s Blaine now, isn’t it?

Strawberry Shortcake. Not only does she lose her old wardrobe and candy, she also loses her baby fat!


Sun-Maid Raisins Girl - a fairly iconic little girl from the olden days without an actual name. Now, she’s going “Hollywood”! New, improved, & modernized. She’s been nipped and tucked and has a brand new face! So maybe, "just maybe, you'll become a big hollywood star."



Where has my childhood gone? Did society go and take them away from me just to leave me behind in the cold, harsh world? Am I the only one who’s unrealistically holding on to the past too tightly?

Is it so wrong to want to look back and see sunshine and rainbows in a world that I will never live in again?

Is that just too much to ask for!?

Typical Assumptions

Warning: There is going to be a lot of generalizations in this post. They may not be, and probably aren’t, accurate. They are simply the thoughts that came across my mind. I mean no offense to anyone!
“Typical, typical, typical.” How many times have you heard this and understood what that person was referring to based solely on that phrase? It seems that this one word provides answers and explanations anyone would need without actually explaining anything.

Quoting from Professor Lant’s Week 2 lecture, “the use of the word ‘typical’ is interesting, because it really does bring to the surface the shape of our discourse on that subject along with all our assumptions and thoughts.” This simple word contains the concepts and generalizations shared by a familiar culture, experiences, and perceptions.

How much does this word actually contain?
WKUK – Saturday
What pops through your mind as you watched the above clip? How would you describe the man, David, in the video?

My first reaction was to chuckle. But, the first sentence I actually said was, “Such a typical man.” Why is David typical? He is childish. They do say that a man never truly grows up, and that he will always have a child inside of him. And, in general, a man matures later than a woman. David certainly exercises that to the fullest extent. He is reckless. He does whatever he wants without thinking about the consequences. He comes back with his knee bruised expecting to be taken care of by his wife.

David wishes for freedom. He does not want to be bounded by a home, much less a woman figure who reminds him of his mother. He is defiant against orders and constraints placed on him. He wants to play. He wants to be free.
How many times have you heard that message about a man, rather in the media or in real life?

Now, generally, when I think of a “typical” man, I think of Mike from Men Anonymous.Men Anonymous - Step One

Mike cannot and does not clean. His whole house is a mess. Garbage is everywhere. He drinks straight out of the milk carton. He can’t cook or even cut an apple. He is lost. The thing that makes Mike untypical is the fact that he admits and feels desperate, because he is so lost. Hence, he is taking the 1st step - “admitting that you’re powerless.” Mike says one line in this video, and it says it all. “For the last 32 years, I’ve been a man.” He is admitting that he is incompetent and powerless because his lifestyle as a typical man.

Mike and David are so different, yet I still used the word “typical” to describe the two of them. There are actually many more qualities I can come up with when I think of a "typical" man. The simple word contains so much meaning. It is unlimited, yet so limiting at the same time. Because of this word, we stereotype strangers and immediately categorize others. We make automatic assumptions and form false impressions of people the moment this word enters our minds.

“Typical” is a dangerous word.

Let’s play the “typical” test. If I told you that he was a typical man, what would you think of? What about a typical woman?

The Calling of "Chocolat"

Chocolat is the perfect movie for the holiday season. It’s warm; it’s joyous; and it’s “sinfully delicious.” Through a “re-vision” of this amazing film, it is as much of a heart-warming movie as it is a feminist movie.



Chocolat features a young, independent mother, Vianne, who enters a small, conservative, and religious French town with her daughter, and she opens a chocolate store during Lent. The town mayor, Comte de Reynaud, is enraged by her actions and even fears her influence, because Vianne threatens to break his traditions. He is a strict man and wishes to rule the town with an iron fist. He has been successful until the presence of Vianne and her chocolate.

Vianne is a foreigner. She travels in a bright red cape in which her daughter also has. She follows to North Wind, and allows it to take her wherever it calls her to. She is not religious, because she does not believe in such restrictive rules. She is not married, and she has a daughter. Vianne stands for everything that the town is not.

This story reminds me of another tale - "The Women Men Don’t See” by Alice B. Sheldon (actual story provided.) Sheldon depicts a woman, Ruth Parson, who is traveling alone with her daughter, and the story tells that they have already been to a couple of places. Parson’s family does not involve men. Ruth’s mother raised her alone, and Ruth raised her daughter alone. Furthermore, Ruth and her daughter leave Earth together; if her daughter is with child, then her daughter will also raise that child alone.

For some unknown reason, all the women in the Parson family remain single, and the men’s only role is to provide the seed for the next generation. It is as if independence runs through the women’s veins. It is in their blood. Vianne comes from a similar culture where the women roam free to travel, to explore, to help, and to fight. Men are not involved. They follow the call of the North Wind.

Another interesting similarity is the influence of “Maya” culture. Ruth and her daughter traveled to many Maya sites and were supposed to be going to another, and her daughter is later involved briefly with the Mayan pilot. If you notice Vianne’s sign, it says “Chocolaterie Maya.” Her chocolates are based on the Mayan recipe.


However, unlike Ruth, Vianne is definitely “memorable.” The sidestories involve how Vianne helps different villagers. Most of them star a female character, rather than male character - an eldery woman with an equally strong spirit, a wife with an unpassionate spouse, a woman trapped with an abusive husband, and more.

Vianne and her chocolates are exotic with the power to "awaken the passion," and that is exactly why she is not to be accepted. The town’s people call her “some kind of a radical.” A child calls her “an atheist.” Although he does not know what that word means, the way he says it implies a strong, negative connotation as if Vianne is associated with the devil.

Needless to say, Vianne infuriates Comte de Reynaud. He calls her a “brazen” woman and fakes sympathy for her “illegitimate child.” He is threatened by her, because she “laughs” at the town’s, namely his, traditions. She wears vivid colors and has a signature red cape while the main colors of the town are grey, black, and white. Chocolate is sensual; not only that, Vianne’s chocolates are exotic. She is the embodiment of life and its sins.

This single woman represents a foreign power that this one man is afraid of. His world is changed, and not in the way that he wants. She is independent and will bow down to no man. He is terrified of her potential, yet he can do nothing to suppress her. He then tries to prevent the town’s people from further succumbing to her influence by calling her “satanic.” She is also immoral, for she associates herself with the gypsies who are boycotted for immorality. She is a black-hole to his universe.

Chocolat is a story of a woman’s mission to bring joy to a village that has long forgotten the meaning of happiness and the true meaning of life. Life is not all about strictly following rules and traditions. Life does not mean for one to be serious and solemn all the time. Life is about letting oneself go and remembering what little things make the heart beat and make the heart melt. Life is knowing how to give and accept kindness and care. Life is about the unrestrained expression of love.

Life is living with passion.

Society's Needed Female Model

Referring back to Leslie Griffith’s article “First lady needs to get beyond pretty in pink,” we are in need of finding a woman who can temper “the testosterone with reason and [can help] an often-isolated president the condition of the people living in the nation he governs for them.” Who can be the “hero” that young women “need” these days?

I suppose Hillary Clinton would be the person that Griffith slightly implies, for “Hilary in blue slacks” is a “nightmare” for the men. She is certainly a threat. To quote a male professor of my friend, “Hilary is the empowered woman – a woman as far as we know. She is the Judas goat (the one goat that leads the herd to slaughter) in her feminist views, but she’s working for the bigger conspiracy.” He even implies that she may not be a woman because of her actions.

The whole controversy as to whether Clinton should or should not be supported in her ways reminds me of a video I made back in High School in 2007 for a government/economics class (posted below.) The point of this “advertisement” was to show the different ways politics used propaganda and its various methods. (Can you catch them?)

Anyhow, I found my video quite fitting for this topic! It definitely shows the different aspects of Hillary Clinton, and I do applaud her for her bravery and willingness to continue to participate strongly in the political world.

Hillary Clinton - Bringing Sexy Back


Please excuse the amateur editing! Take some time and watch it ^^ It’s short enough~ You will definitely see the many faces of Hillary Clinton. I put a lot of thought in choosing the quotes and the different music choices at that time! (Ohh goodness, this video just shouts youth - and not in the good way)

Who else do you think would fit into the role of a contemporary female model?

A Bootcamp for Emotions

Last time in Step 2, Mike in “Men Anonymous” learned the valuable lesson on “How to Communicate.” He learned how to express or at least seem like he is expressing “genuine” emotion and “feeling real.”

Men Anonymous - Step 3

The next step is to “build life skills,” which involves a series of intense training with his powerful coach. Under her special care, “there’s going to be blood, there’s going to be sweat…there will hopefully be some tears.” The word “tears” probably has two implications. It first suggests that the training will be so strenuous that these men will cave under the pressure, but the other connotation is that they will finally be in touch with their feelings and express openly – the point is to make them to cry.

To further exercise this skill, the coach forces them to watch a romantic comedy movie, because women “eat” this type of genre “up” and find it emotionally satisfying. As the coach states, “if you’re not crying, you’re not trying.” Crying is a physical sign of emotional outlet and often seen as a sign of weakness for males in general; hence, the men in “Men Anonymous” need to be comfortable with expressing themselves in this way to further connect with the ways that females are.

Step 3 is basically an emotions boot camp to further know the proper ways of behavior when dealing with a female. They taught to reform basic daily routines, such as how to go to the restroom, what to do with the toilet seat, how to say "I love you" out loud, how to deal with eating tofu, and how to order from a menu. The men do pushups while repeatedly saying “flush seat flush” to implant the foreign idea into their heads. They are even being prepared to overcome the embarrassment of buying pads.

To quote Mike about his training after he throws up after trying desperately to eat tofu, “it’s too much man; it’s too much.” It truly must be difficult to learn to behave and communicate a different way. It is as if the two sexes are two different species.

However, as we approach the finale of Step 3, Mike makes visible improvements. We see that he is the one who has “damp” eyes when watching a movie, and he knows how to order from a menu “properly” (although I still think he failed the tofu test – Is tofu really that bad? I love tofu! Is it because I’m a female? =O) Mike hugs the coach as he surpasses each harsh obstacles and even says aloud “love you coach” quite comfortably as a sign of gratitude. Mike is slowly having a breakthrough, and in the video’s sense, he is finally getting control and power over his life.

I feel that “Men Anonymous” illustrates the general and base stereotypes for both males and females in a funny, inoffensive way (at least that was not my intention.) Am I sadistic to say that I found Mike’s training pretty hilarious? I am actually finding myself laughing more and more as I rewatch and analyze his training. =D

I am so curious to know how you feel about Mike and "Men Anonymous!" The catch phrase for the program is “You’re a man. We can help.” Is Mike making improvement? Is the coach good? I think she's amazing now after the nth viewing of this video.

Communication Style

I am sure that most people share a common belief that men and women communicate differently. Most of the time we see women as the sex that need to talk their feelings out in order to express themselves and need verbal reassurance. Word are equally as important as words. We are also often led to believe that men tend to hold on to their thoughts and preserve a “manly” and “strong” image.

I recently came across a Youtube video titled “Men Anonymous.” It is about a man named Mike who feels helpless and powerless with his lifestyle as a man who can’t take care of himself, which causes him to seek help. This is Step 1. He has to go through 12 steps to complete his “training.” In Step 2 and the rest of the 12 steps, he and other men from his support group have a coach who teaches them the “proper” ways of communication, namely with females. It is a very entertaining way to show just how different and difficult it is to adapt a new communication style.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qy4j_A57M5k

I’ll share Step 2 right now. The coach, who is dealing with a group of men trying to master the ways of communication, speaks to the men with a blunt, direct tone. She goes straight into the point and gives short commands. That is the assumed communication style that men respond to. She adapts this man-like behavior or that of an authority figure, so that they will understand her and obediently follow her directions.

The beginning of Step 2 shows Mike doing an exercise where he is having a proper and “good” talk session with his coach posing to be his girlfriend or partner. The point is for Mike to provide his girlfriend reassurance of who she is, to admit to her that he respects her, and verbally state his support for her. He uses expressive adjectives and verbs in his speech to communicate emotions, a style that women tend to have rather than men. His coach comments, while using what Mike did as an example, that women will consider this as “genuine emotion” and “feeling real.” This video portrays female communication as a method to connect to each other and to work through together without caring for a particular outcome.

We see the second pair with two men. Expressing feelings verbally does not come directly to them. However, playing and being competitive with each other is their form of bonding. They become friends much faster and naturally than through speech. It is a more physical and less serious form of communication.

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween everyone! What are your plans for this holiday? Party? Scary movie? My plans are to do work and then homework! Whoo, just thinking about it gives me chills!

Nothing literature related for this entry~ I tend to stay away from reading scary stories. They tend to create even worse visuals than movies sometimes. I would like to share however, a trailer that I find to be very fitting for Halloween – Alice in Wonderland.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pS32b0VLkXk

Has anyone read the book? Truthfully speaking, the Disney version of the story scared me as a child. Seriously, that Cheshire Cat has such an eerie smile, and the Queen is just cruel! But, this new Tim Burton version takes
Alice in Wonderland to a whole new level with Johnny Depp as Mad Hatter – I suppose it’s not too much of a surprise. It’s also in 3D! Doesn't he remind you of The Joker from Batman though, in particular his laugh?

I am actually quite curious as to how Johnny Depp intends to portray this character. A part of me of is scared to watch it, but another part of me cannot resist! I suppose this is why they say that curiosity kills the cat.

Although based on the trailer, I do think that they should release this movie for Halloween instead of in March. I don’t think it’s very fitting for Easter even with the meadow and the bunny.

What's your Halloween flavor? =D Have a Happy Halloween!