You're SO typical!

"You’re such a typical _____." What do you think when someone says that to you? Do you feel proud, ashamed, or angry?

Here is a snippet of a conversation I shared with an acquaintance some time ago.

Me: Yeah, I like pink.
He said: I should have known.
Me: What does that mean?
He said: Nothing =)

<some time later>

Me: My favorite Disney movie is Cinderella.
He said: I knew it.
Me: What? What do you mean “you knew it”?
He said: You’re such a typical girl.
Me: What does that have to do with anything?
He said: Nothing, it’s just who you are.

Hold it right there. I don’t know about you, but I certainly was not very happy at this point. This came from a person that I barely knew, and I was pretty offended. I probably knew him for at most 3 weeks when I had this conversation with him, and I only saw him for one class that was held two days a week.

I don’t think that he had a right to judge me so quickly; he didn’t even know who I am! I’m not a “typical” girl. I am completely clueless on how to do makeup, how to dress in style, how to sew, how to cook, or how to clean – not that these are bad qualities; I’m just not as blessed with such skills as others. (Goodness, I’m starting to sound a little like Mike, huh? Perhaps I should join a “Women Anonymous”?)

The only things he knew about me at this point were that I like cute things, I happen to like pink (even though my favorite color is white), and I like the Disney movie Cinderella. He calls me “typical” solely based on these facts. Isn’t that jumping a little too quickly to conclusions?

The word “typical” has such a negative connotation. “He’s such a typical man. She’s a typical woman. They’re the typical jocks.” I am not sure if I’m being pessimistic, but those sentences do not sound like compliments. Perhaps it is because my perception of a “typical woman” differed from his assumptions. In a way, I feel that this phrase puts down my self-worth and categorizes me as a girl who simply likes shiny things, love at first sight, cooking, and cleaning. I could very well call him a “typical man” for calling me a “typical girl.”

I admit that I do have certain qualities and like certain things that most people would consider to be feminine attributes. Given a different context and perhaps a different person, I may not have been as offended. I am not active, completely incompetent in sports, dislikes competition and aggression, and extremely emotionally sensitive.

Perhaps you would argue that I am a “typical” girl, but I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be put in a group based solely on some of the things that I do, because that is only a part of me and the whole of me. It is not my true identity. It is not who I am and how I would want to define myself.

“Typical” is a word that promotes assumptions, and assumptions do not lead to positive outcomes. When people do not share the same ideas and generalizations, damaged is caused. We do not like to be categorized. We like to think of ourselves as unique individuals.

We want to be recognized. We want to be heard. We want to be seen.

We want to shine.

We do not want to be “typical.”

Do you?

Typical Assumptions

Warning: There is going to be a lot of generalizations in this post. They may not be, and probably aren’t, accurate. They are simply the thoughts that came across my mind. I mean no offense to anyone!
“Typical, typical, typical.” How many times have you heard this and understood what that person was referring to based solely on that phrase? It seems that this one word provides answers and explanations anyone would need without actually explaining anything.

Quoting from Professor Lant’s Week 2 lecture, “the use of the word ‘typical’ is interesting, because it really does bring to the surface the shape of our discourse on that subject along with all our assumptions and thoughts.” This simple word contains the concepts and generalizations shared by a familiar culture, experiences, and perceptions.

How much does this word actually contain?
WKUK – Saturday
What pops through your mind as you watched the above clip? How would you describe the man, David, in the video?

My first reaction was to chuckle. But, the first sentence I actually said was, “Such a typical man.” Why is David typical? He is childish. They do say that a man never truly grows up, and that he will always have a child inside of him. And, in general, a man matures later than a woman. David certainly exercises that to the fullest extent. He is reckless. He does whatever he wants without thinking about the consequences. He comes back with his knee bruised expecting to be taken care of by his wife.

David wishes for freedom. He does not want to be bounded by a home, much less a woman figure who reminds him of his mother. He is defiant against orders and constraints placed on him. He wants to play. He wants to be free.
How many times have you heard that message about a man, rather in the media or in real life?

Now, generally, when I think of a “typical” man, I think of Mike from Men Anonymous.Men Anonymous - Step One

Mike cannot and does not clean. His whole house is a mess. Garbage is everywhere. He drinks straight out of the milk carton. He can’t cook or even cut an apple. He is lost. The thing that makes Mike untypical is the fact that he admits and feels desperate, because he is so lost. Hence, he is taking the 1st step - “admitting that you’re powerless.” Mike says one line in this video, and it says it all. “For the last 32 years, I’ve been a man.” He is admitting that he is incompetent and powerless because his lifestyle as a typical man.

Mike and David are so different, yet I still used the word “typical” to describe the two of them. There are actually many more qualities I can come up with when I think of a "typical" man. The simple word contains so much meaning. It is unlimited, yet so limiting at the same time. Because of this word, we stereotype strangers and immediately categorize others. We make automatic assumptions and form false impressions of people the moment this word enters our minds.

“Typical” is a dangerous word.

Let’s play the “typical” test. If I told you that he was a typical man, what would you think of? What about a typical woman?