Our Love for Rochester

Edward Rochester – a man with a grim, dark face & stern features, a man with a past unclear only to be revealed as unclean, and a man with perhaps questionable behavior.

Yet, even with all his flaws, externally and internally, this is the man of “every woman’s dream” (see video below). & yes, every woman’s notion of Edward Rochester is different because he is such an emotionally complex man, but undeniably, he is attractive.

What is so captivating about this man,
even after all his mistakes and faults,
that makes us unable to do anything but to forgive and continue to love him?
Rochester is a wild and passionate man. His excitingly mysterious personality is refreshing compared to the stale, static life we often lead. He is unafraid to express his emotions. He is free with his words and passions – a bit too excessively even. He dared to dream.

Just as Jane Eyre (& yours truly) finds Rochester’s personality refreshing, Jane’s personality to him is also a breath of fresh air. It is her spirit that he is attracted to and is captivated by. He understands and greatly values her for who she is underneath it all.

We love Rochester first because he is a passionate man that speaks the language of our hearts and sings the melody that the world has stopped our spirits to sing. He wants to release us from the cage that society has placed us in.

How can we resist the temptation of such calling?
He beckons us like the Sirens beckon sailors.

We love Rochester second because he loves us for our minds. “Your mind is my treasure” (Jane Eyre, Chapter 27). Such words from a man who has gone through the painful mistakes and fruitless sins of shallow relationships for beauty, money, and social considerations; such words from a man who’s yearned for so long for a kindred soul to which he finally finds in Jane, we cannot help but to take these words to heart with genuineness.

We know for certain that it is our spirits that speak to each other and that appearances are of no consequence; after all, he is no beauty himself.

As much as we want romanticize and idealize Rochester (as he does with Jane), we cannot ignore his humanness and ugly crimes – the most fatal one of hiding and lying about his marriage and believing that he can get away with it as well as trying to make a wife in his eyes and develop her into his fantasies.

He forces us into his fairy tales that he uses to evade reality, and they are so far from reality. As much as we wish to indulge ourselves in them with him, we know who we truly are – his fantasies simply are not what we are. We have to force ourselves away from this unhealthy relationship.

As painful and horrible as it is to turn away from him, we must, because indulging in such unrestrained passion will only lead to destruction as reality unfolds.

Many people will ask how can you love this man so much? He locked a wife in the tower, led a bachelor’s life, hid the truth from you, and hid the truth from you?

To them, we say, have man no sin? Have you no sympathy for a man who has suffered and isolated himself from the world because of guilt? He may be imperfect, but neither am I perfect. He has his past, and I have mine.

And mind you, we are not so foolish to just blindly accept and condone and excuse his wrongs. Oh outside spectator, you do not understand how much strength was actually required to leave him because of how morally wrong the situation was. Forgiveness may have been given easily, especially with our unconditional love for him, but wrongs cannot be vanished into thin air.

Rochester does indeed suffer and is punished severely for his sins, and he is left blinded and crippled for them.

We love Rochester third because, in the end, he can finally see us and accept us for who we are, as we are, in reality. As damaged as he may be, the spirit that lived inside of him that first responded to the calling within us is still there. He is still just as eager to receive us as the first time when he came across our spirits.

His once excessive choleric temperament is controlled. He does not place us on his own idealistic pedestal anymore. We are now truly his equally, and we can live side by side as equals.

He is ready to truly love.

We say to him, “choose then, sir – her who loves you best.”

He says, “I will choose –

her I love best.”

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A little hesitant to show a video with an actor portraying Rochester, but good commentary on the character!

Dependent on Others' Strength - You

“If you fasten your feebleness on someone else’s strength, the existence for you must be a scene of continual change and excitement or else the world is a dungeon.” – Jane Eyre, Chapter 21

How true this quote is. & not just for fictional characters from the lines of a novel, but for you and me as well.

How many times have you sought out a friend for support?

By no means am I against that, in fact, I think it is needed that we have people who understand us, who accept us for who we are, and have them by our sides as we live in this world that tends to leave us feeling lonely and unwanted. Surely it is not hard to see why Jane and Edward felt such a strong attachment to each other.

But how many times have you constantly sought out the same friend for the same exactly problem from all those years ago? Or maybe it’s not the same friend, but simply different people?

How many times have you felt that satisfying release from being freed of the burdens from the chains that have tied your heart down for so long even for a short moment?

How comforting and freeing it is to have someone to encourage or just listen to all the torments and struggles that your spirit has been forced to endure – even for a short moment.

In the end, the problems don’t go away. The chains remain. When the pressure rises again from within your heart, you are left to relive this cycle of seeking out a kindred spirit.

When we depend on another human being to be strong for us, we are simply finding excuses for ourselves to not face reality. It is simply a means to find a momentary borrowed strength to escape the pains in life.

Eventually, we will grow tired of these dependent relationships because we feel that they are not enough to cover the pain that we feel and is constantly threatening to resurface.

Only when the strength comes from a source within ourselves can we conquer the pains of life. Only then will we stop moving from one external and fleeting source of strength to another.

When the pressures rise again from within your heart - when you are ready - you can find the power to force them back down.

Be strong for yourself, because no one can be strong for you.

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Have you fasten your feebleness on someone else's strength?

Dependent on Others' Strength - Jane Eyre

Jane Eyre’s entire life has been a journey of learning to be independent, to finally be able to settle in a place where she is entirely at peace without the dependence and influence of anyone around her.

“If you fasten your feebleness on someone else’s strength, the existence for you must be a scene of continual change and excitement or else the world is a dungeon.” – Jane Eyre, Chapter 21

The quote, although not directed to Jane, pretty much describes the way that Jane has been leading her life. Jane has never seen value in her identity because of her status as an orphan, a poor person, and a woman. She struggles to keep her emotions and unique spirit in a world that tries very hard to force her to fully suppress herself. She seeks out, perhaps unknowingly, for figures to help her deal with her conflicts with her external environment and within herself.

In her childhood, she attaches herself to Helen Burns, who does well to advice Jane on a mentality that will keep her sane in this world. After Helen’s death, Jane finds support in Miss Temple. When Miss Temple marries and must leave Jane, Jane feels trapped by Lowood. She grows tired of the rules and systems that she became accustomed to, which was fine to her until her strong figure Miss Temple leaves, and yearns to be a part of the real world that is full of sensations and excitements.

After Lowood, Jane meets Edward Rochester. His untamed passion speaks to her own, hidden passion. She feels and knows that their spirits are the same. She cannot help but be greatly influenced by him and become exceptionally attached to his strengths, personality, and spirit. But, Jane also recognizes the dangers of leading a life being consumed entirely by urges; it is not realistic and ultimately destructive.

She must leave Rochester.

We see through Jane’s life that until she finds her strength that solely comes from within herself, she cannot settle down. She must keep moving or else she will feel a sense of entrapment in regards to her identity.

Jane returns to Rochester because she is sure of her identity and strengths; she has a family, she has an inheritance, and she is an independent woman. She can stand strong on her own. She is ready to love and welcome the passion that is Rochester without the fear of being consumed by his fire.

In the end, Jane Eyre and Edward Rochester can finally be together, because they are two completely renewed puzzle pieces that have each gone through their own version of tribulation and cleansing to form independent yet matching identities in order to experience a genuinely lasting love between two people.

It is a love where both people are certain and content of their own world to let the integrity of the other remain intact as the two collide.

It is a love that truly fulfills each other.

Dependent on Others’ Strength – Edward Rochester

“If you fasten your feebleness on someone else’s strength, the existence for you must be a scene of continual change and excitement or else the world is a dungeon.” – Jane Eyre, Chapter 21

I definitely think that this quote represents the lives and tendencies of the 2 main characters of Jane Eyre. Let's begin our reflections with our leading male character.

Edward Rochester may have been a strong and passionate man, but he still has his weaknesses.

He is still helpless, in particular in his entrapment by a forced marriage. Because of his inescapability from this situation that he so desperately resents, he is constantly trying to “free” himself by being involved with many temporary mistresses. He fails to find genuine solace in them because the short-lived relationships were not strong enough to sustain lasting excitements for him to feel the joys of life and to feel what it means to be alive again.

They are not enough for him.

He finally meets Jane – a girl whom he can see has a spirit the same as his and has such a strong and unconventional character that he realizes that she is the one who he has been searching for all along. She is the one who he can depend on and trust to revive his dead life.

As Rochester says, he is “a repentant man going against the world’s opinion to a gentle stronger, therefore by securing his own peace of mind and regeneration of life.” Jane Eyre is his “gentle stronger.” He believes her spirit is strong enough to sustain the peace in his life and to allow him to feel alive again.

She brings out the passion in him.

However, Jane realizes the dangers of such attachment and tells Rochester that “reformation should never depend on a fellow creature;” it must come from the strength within, a strength in which he must draw from God himself.

Furthermore, Jane sees that if she agrees to be with him as a mistress, one day he will also grow tired of her, and when her personality goes against his will, he will be “displeased” with her and cannot love her as he does now in his current stage of blinding passion for her.

Only when Rochester repents out of his own desire, strength, and will does he find true love and everlasting happiness. He may be physically handicapped, but his inner strength is so much more independent compared to before. He is no longer helpless spiritually.

He may be physically blind, but his heart is finally clear. His heart and mind are no longer clouded by his vehement passion.

He cannot fasten his inner weakness on Jane’s strength any longer.

He becomes his own person. He has found balance within himself.

His existence is finally at peace.

The world is no longer a dungeon for him.

Jane can finally return to him.

Overwhelmed with Passion for "Jane Eyre"

I fell in love with Jane Eyre the moment I read the story,
and I have yet to fall out of love.

It was the type of love that captivated all of my attention and overwhelmed my senses. I couldn’t think clearly to process, let alone answer, the questions that rushed to enter my mind. I could simply let the waves of events carry me through their motions.

As much as I tried to remain logical and bring myself back to reality, I could not resist the temptation to give in to the overpowering emotions that I felt.

It truly was love at first read.

Perhaps I had been so in tune with the story that I allowed the emotions that Jane Eyre was experiencing to take over and become a part of me and my own emotional experience. I understood, if not exactly felt, the struggles between passion and logic that Jane fought through.

It is so easy to let passion to capture your senses because its power can consume you like a fire. It is so powerful that if there is no balance between reason and passion, the fires of desire will destroy you.

Charlotte Bronte illustrates this point quite clearly with many character’s deaths, such as Bertha who’s passion not only drove her to insanity but became so uncontrollable that caused her to start a literal fire that led her to her death. Even with St. John Rivers, who was a symbol of reason, his strong determination in remaining rational and in control became an obsession that ultimately led him to his death.

Jane Eyre is a book that illustrates the importance of internal balance in one’s life. A person cannot be led purely by fervent passion or solely on logical, emotionless thoughts. Too much of either one would be destructive to the body, heart, and spirit.

Jane Eyre took me along with her as she walked down her path to self discovery, which is exactly what she wanted I’m sure because the story is written as her memoir. In the end of her tale, Jane is certain of her value in her own identity and is at peace with her decisions as well as the life that she chose to lead.

It is only after hearing her ending that I found myself ready to reflect back on the series of events that happened and to begin seeking answers to the many questions and emotions that threatened to overwhelm me. But even to this day, I still find it hard to calm myself down when I think about this amazing story.

The influence of passion is so powerful that its sensations can be communicated and transferred through mere words.

I don’t believe that we are ever released from its hold.