"Escape" (1991)

“Escape,” a short story written by Su Tong, describes the tragic life of a poor man who spends the majority of his life trying desperately to escape – to escape family, to escape obligations, to escape living, to simply escape – and even when death is only a footstep away, he still yearns for this release. Chen Sanmai’s desire and weakness not only leads him to his ultimate demise but also damages the life and spirit of his wife, who remains nameless throughout the tale. Their family saga closely depicts how helpless and dysfunctional humans are as they are caught up and blinded by their innermost obsessions. Su Tong does not hesitate to reveal the vulnerability and depravity of his characters to show the ugliness and conflicts of people and their effects.

Escapes mar the past of Chen Sanmai. There seems to be nothing that he did not run away from, but every escape seems to only lead to horrible results. Sanmai “ran away when [his family] asked him to eat; he ran away when [his family] asked him to take a bath…when he grew up and [his family] found him a wife, he still ran away.”

He runs to the city but has to leave when he catches a horrible disease. He leaves his home quickly after his return and is forced to join the army out of sheer self-preservation, and it is because of self-preservation that causes him to leave the army to return home. And again, it is self-preservation that makes him believe that he had to leave home or else he will die in the hands of soldiers hunting for deserters like him. Even as his wife finally finds him in his last hiding place by his deathbed, he is still waiting and staring with wishfully of his kites with broken strings that are trapped on trees.

Chen Sanmai portrays the struggles and despairs of a man who is suffocated by society’s restrictions and demands. This can be seen throughout his long history of escapes from the orders and wills of his parents, from his abandonment of his wife, and from his desertion of his military obligations.

He can never do what he wants. He is trapped even in his home. The home, supposedly a place of comfort, only acts as a further entrapment on his life and self. There is no freedom anywhere. There is no genuine control over one’s life. Under such pressures of conformity, the only thing that Sanmai wants to do and can do is to run and escape, but he cannot even do that. He cannot escape.

The Message of Dorian Gray

The Picture of Dorian Gray brings us further into the concept of desire and illustrates quite vividly of its power, its weakness, its beauty, its ugliness, its motivation, and its destruction. It also presents the ideals and allures of theories, such as aestheticism and hedonism, and reveals the reality of these concepts when practiced through human hands. The many intricate relationships between ambition, morality, sin, one’s conscience, the individual, and society can be quite astonishing.

The complexity of these connections depicted is definitely one of the key elements in capturing my attention and earning my admiration for the novel. I received many messages from this classic story, not simply about the world around me but also the world within me. Yet, when I try to piece them all together, the messages seem to be ambiguous or contradictory.

Take Dorian Gray for example – perhaps you will disagree with me, but I cannot deny the magnetism and charisma of Dorian Gray. Even though I know exactly how dangerous and hideous he truly is on the inside, I still cannot resist being pulled in by the form that he allows the world to see. I may not be completely attracted to him, but there are still elements of his entity to be admired.

He is art. Dorian Gray is art.

As Wilde says, “it is the spectator, and not life, that art really mirrors.” If Dorian Gray truly resembles the evilness of life, then what is it trying to imply about me?

But if beauty is there, how can it be denied? Shouldn’t art be appreciated for art’s sake? Art only needs to be beautiful. There should be no other use, and its justification of Art’s existence is that it is admires intensely. (The Picture of Dorian Gray, Preface)

Perhaps this sort of conflict, this ambiguity and complexity, is exactly what Oscar Wilde is trying to tell us.

You cannot view this world as purely black and white. There is black, and there is white; and there is gray as the two intermingle as they come into contact. You are not purely evil, and neither are you purely good; you are a combination of the two.

There are opposing forces, ideas, and views inside us and outside us that are struggling to live in the same place. They are currently coexisting in one time and one place. The end result may be as clear to you or as vague as Dorian’s demise, but the certain thing is that, as of now, there are two sides to the world, two faces of the being, and their line of separation cannot be so precise. To force a separation thoroughly earthly means is harmful, painful, and utterly impossible other than the means of death.

One thing with living in this world is to learn to come to terms with the openness in life and finding your definition of “you” and “life.”

I could be completely wrong about this final message from Dorian Gray, and Oscar Wilde could actually mean something absolutely different by his novel.

But, this is my own interpretation and my own definition about the work,

and isn’t that what Art is?

Isn't that what Life is?

~ My Work ~

Our Love for Rochester

Edward Rochester – a man with a grim, dark face & stern features, a man with a past unclear only to be revealed as unclean, and a man with perhaps questionable behavior.

Yet, even with all his flaws, externally and internally, this is the man of “every woman’s dream” (see video below). & yes, every woman’s notion of Edward Rochester is different because he is such an emotionally complex man, but undeniably, he is attractive.

What is so captivating about this man,
even after all his mistakes and faults,
that makes us unable to do anything but to forgive and continue to love him?
Rochester is a wild and passionate man. His excitingly mysterious personality is refreshing compared to the stale, static life we often lead. He is unafraid to express his emotions. He is free with his words and passions – a bit too excessively even. He dared to dream.

Just as Jane Eyre (& yours truly) finds Rochester’s personality refreshing, Jane’s personality to him is also a breath of fresh air. It is her spirit that he is attracted to and is captivated by. He understands and greatly values her for who she is underneath it all.

We love Rochester first because he is a passionate man that speaks the language of our hearts and sings the melody that the world has stopped our spirits to sing. He wants to release us from the cage that society has placed us in.

How can we resist the temptation of such calling?
He beckons us like the Sirens beckon sailors.

We love Rochester second because he loves us for our minds. “Your mind is my treasure” (Jane Eyre, Chapter 27). Such words from a man who has gone through the painful mistakes and fruitless sins of shallow relationships for beauty, money, and social considerations; such words from a man who’s yearned for so long for a kindred soul to which he finally finds in Jane, we cannot help but to take these words to heart with genuineness.

We know for certain that it is our spirits that speak to each other and that appearances are of no consequence; after all, he is no beauty himself.

As much as we want romanticize and idealize Rochester (as he does with Jane), we cannot ignore his humanness and ugly crimes – the most fatal one of hiding and lying about his marriage and believing that he can get away with it as well as trying to make a wife in his eyes and develop her into his fantasies.

He forces us into his fairy tales that he uses to evade reality, and they are so far from reality. As much as we wish to indulge ourselves in them with him, we know who we truly are – his fantasies simply are not what we are. We have to force ourselves away from this unhealthy relationship.

As painful and horrible as it is to turn away from him, we must, because indulging in such unrestrained passion will only lead to destruction as reality unfolds.

Many people will ask how can you love this man so much? He locked a wife in the tower, led a bachelor’s life, hid the truth from you, and hid the truth from you?

To them, we say, have man no sin? Have you no sympathy for a man who has suffered and isolated himself from the world because of guilt? He may be imperfect, but neither am I perfect. He has his past, and I have mine.

And mind you, we are not so foolish to just blindly accept and condone and excuse his wrongs. Oh outside spectator, you do not understand how much strength was actually required to leave him because of how morally wrong the situation was. Forgiveness may have been given easily, especially with our unconditional love for him, but wrongs cannot be vanished into thin air.

Rochester does indeed suffer and is punished severely for his sins, and he is left blinded and crippled for them.

We love Rochester third because, in the end, he can finally see us and accept us for who we are, as we are, in reality. As damaged as he may be, the spirit that lived inside of him that first responded to the calling within us is still there. He is still just as eager to receive us as the first time when he came across our spirits.

His once excessive choleric temperament is controlled. He does not place us on his own idealistic pedestal anymore. We are now truly his equally, and we can live side by side as equals.

He is ready to truly love.

We say to him, “choose then, sir – her who loves you best.”

He says, “I will choose –

her I love best.”

---

A little hesitant to show a video with an actor portraying Rochester, but good commentary on the character!

Dependent on Others' Strength - You

“If you fasten your feebleness on someone else’s strength, the existence for you must be a scene of continual change and excitement or else the world is a dungeon.” – Jane Eyre, Chapter 21

How true this quote is. & not just for fictional characters from the lines of a novel, but for you and me as well.

How many times have you sought out a friend for support?

By no means am I against that, in fact, I think it is needed that we have people who understand us, who accept us for who we are, and have them by our sides as we live in this world that tends to leave us feeling lonely and unwanted. Surely it is not hard to see why Jane and Edward felt such a strong attachment to each other.

But how many times have you constantly sought out the same friend for the same exactly problem from all those years ago? Or maybe it’s not the same friend, but simply different people?

How many times have you felt that satisfying release from being freed of the burdens from the chains that have tied your heart down for so long even for a short moment?

How comforting and freeing it is to have someone to encourage or just listen to all the torments and struggles that your spirit has been forced to endure – even for a short moment.

In the end, the problems don’t go away. The chains remain. When the pressure rises again from within your heart, you are left to relive this cycle of seeking out a kindred spirit.

When we depend on another human being to be strong for us, we are simply finding excuses for ourselves to not face reality. It is simply a means to find a momentary borrowed strength to escape the pains in life.

Eventually, we will grow tired of these dependent relationships because we feel that they are not enough to cover the pain that we feel and is constantly threatening to resurface.

Only when the strength comes from a source within ourselves can we conquer the pains of life. Only then will we stop moving from one external and fleeting source of strength to another.

When the pressures rise again from within your heart - when you are ready - you can find the power to force them back down.

Be strong for yourself, because no one can be strong for you.

---

Have you fasten your feebleness on someone else's strength?

Dependent on Others' Strength - Jane Eyre

Jane Eyre’s entire life has been a journey of learning to be independent, to finally be able to settle in a place where she is entirely at peace without the dependence and influence of anyone around her.

“If you fasten your feebleness on someone else’s strength, the existence for you must be a scene of continual change and excitement or else the world is a dungeon.” – Jane Eyre, Chapter 21

The quote, although not directed to Jane, pretty much describes the way that Jane has been leading her life. Jane has never seen value in her identity because of her status as an orphan, a poor person, and a woman. She struggles to keep her emotions and unique spirit in a world that tries very hard to force her to fully suppress herself. She seeks out, perhaps unknowingly, for figures to help her deal with her conflicts with her external environment and within herself.

In her childhood, she attaches herself to Helen Burns, who does well to advice Jane on a mentality that will keep her sane in this world. After Helen’s death, Jane finds support in Miss Temple. When Miss Temple marries and must leave Jane, Jane feels trapped by Lowood. She grows tired of the rules and systems that she became accustomed to, which was fine to her until her strong figure Miss Temple leaves, and yearns to be a part of the real world that is full of sensations and excitements.

After Lowood, Jane meets Edward Rochester. His untamed passion speaks to her own, hidden passion. She feels and knows that their spirits are the same. She cannot help but be greatly influenced by him and become exceptionally attached to his strengths, personality, and spirit. But, Jane also recognizes the dangers of leading a life being consumed entirely by urges; it is not realistic and ultimately destructive.

She must leave Rochester.

We see through Jane’s life that until she finds her strength that solely comes from within herself, she cannot settle down. She must keep moving or else she will feel a sense of entrapment in regards to her identity.

Jane returns to Rochester because she is sure of her identity and strengths; she has a family, she has an inheritance, and she is an independent woman. She can stand strong on her own. She is ready to love and welcome the passion that is Rochester without the fear of being consumed by his fire.

In the end, Jane Eyre and Edward Rochester can finally be together, because they are two completely renewed puzzle pieces that have each gone through their own version of tribulation and cleansing to form independent yet matching identities in order to experience a genuinely lasting love between two people.

It is a love where both people are certain and content of their own world to let the integrity of the other remain intact as the two collide.

It is a love that truly fulfills each other.

Dependent on Others’ Strength – Edward Rochester

“If you fasten your feebleness on someone else’s strength, the existence for you must be a scene of continual change and excitement or else the world is a dungeon.” – Jane Eyre, Chapter 21

I definitely think that this quote represents the lives and tendencies of the 2 main characters of Jane Eyre. Let's begin our reflections with our leading male character.

Edward Rochester may have been a strong and passionate man, but he still has his weaknesses.

He is still helpless, in particular in his entrapment by a forced marriage. Because of his inescapability from this situation that he so desperately resents, he is constantly trying to “free” himself by being involved with many temporary mistresses. He fails to find genuine solace in them because the short-lived relationships were not strong enough to sustain lasting excitements for him to feel the joys of life and to feel what it means to be alive again.

They are not enough for him.

He finally meets Jane – a girl whom he can see has a spirit the same as his and has such a strong and unconventional character that he realizes that she is the one who he has been searching for all along. She is the one who he can depend on and trust to revive his dead life.

As Rochester says, he is “a repentant man going against the world’s opinion to a gentle stronger, therefore by securing his own peace of mind and regeneration of life.” Jane Eyre is his “gentle stronger.” He believes her spirit is strong enough to sustain the peace in his life and to allow him to feel alive again.

She brings out the passion in him.

However, Jane realizes the dangers of such attachment and tells Rochester that “reformation should never depend on a fellow creature;” it must come from the strength within, a strength in which he must draw from God himself.

Furthermore, Jane sees that if she agrees to be with him as a mistress, one day he will also grow tired of her, and when her personality goes against his will, he will be “displeased” with her and cannot love her as he does now in his current stage of blinding passion for her.

Only when Rochester repents out of his own desire, strength, and will does he find true love and everlasting happiness. He may be physically handicapped, but his inner strength is so much more independent compared to before. He is no longer helpless spiritually.

He may be physically blind, but his heart is finally clear. His heart and mind are no longer clouded by his vehement passion.

He cannot fasten his inner weakness on Jane’s strength any longer.

He becomes his own person. He has found balance within himself.

His existence is finally at peace.

The world is no longer a dungeon for him.

Jane can finally return to him.

Overwhelmed with Passion for "Jane Eyre"

I fell in love with Jane Eyre the moment I read the story,
and I have yet to fall out of love.

It was the type of love that captivated all of my attention and overwhelmed my senses. I couldn’t think clearly to process, let alone answer, the questions that rushed to enter my mind. I could simply let the waves of events carry me through their motions.

As much as I tried to remain logical and bring myself back to reality, I could not resist the temptation to give in to the overpowering emotions that I felt.

It truly was love at first read.

Perhaps I had been so in tune with the story that I allowed the emotions that Jane Eyre was experiencing to take over and become a part of me and my own emotional experience. I understood, if not exactly felt, the struggles between passion and logic that Jane fought through.

It is so easy to let passion to capture your senses because its power can consume you like a fire. It is so powerful that if there is no balance between reason and passion, the fires of desire will destroy you.

Charlotte Bronte illustrates this point quite clearly with many character’s deaths, such as Bertha who’s passion not only drove her to insanity but became so uncontrollable that caused her to start a literal fire that led her to her death. Even with St. John Rivers, who was a symbol of reason, his strong determination in remaining rational and in control became an obsession that ultimately led him to his death.

Jane Eyre is a book that illustrates the importance of internal balance in one’s life. A person cannot be led purely by fervent passion or solely on logical, emotionless thoughts. Too much of either one would be destructive to the body, heart, and spirit.

Jane Eyre took me along with her as she walked down her path to self discovery, which is exactly what she wanted I’m sure because the story is written as her memoir. In the end of her tale, Jane is certain of her value in her own identity and is at peace with her decisions as well as the life that she chose to lead.

It is only after hearing her ending that I found myself ready to reflect back on the series of events that happened and to begin seeking answers to the many questions and emotions that threatened to overwhelm me. But even to this day, I still find it hard to calm myself down when I think about this amazing story.

The influence of passion is so powerful that its sensations can be communicated and transferred through mere words.

I don’t believe that we are ever released from its hold.

Under the Lights

The dim, yellow lights above guided our path to my house, and I found myself laughing lightly again at his words.

It was his first time visiting them here.

He’d met them before but still I felt nervous. He squeezed my hand gently as if I hadn’t responded to something he said or asked. I looked up and smiled softly at his face. He gave me comfort however unknowingly.

We had finally arrived.

My mother and aunt were drinking tea in the family room. I could hear the easy chatter even at the front door.

I walked past the threshold and said to the two of them just as I turned towards the stairs,

“Hi mom, hi Aunt May. I’m just going to grab something real quick. I’ll be right back. He’s here for a little bit, but we’re going to out again real soon.”

I left him alone with the two of them, and he sat by my mother, across from my aunt. They nodded and smiled at each other. My mother and aunt continued to smile politely but tried to speak to each other in a softer tone.

When I finally came back down, I saw him get up and said to them, “I’ll go get us something to drink.” To which my mother gave another smile and a nod.

After I saw him walk out of the family room, I asked my mother, “Did you know what he said?”

My mother gave a light shake of her head and a small smile, almost remorseful and defeated, and said,

“Child, you know I don’t understand Him.”

Right. That's right..you don't understand. I was ready to leave. I had already taken a few steps to face away from the table, but the words in my mind could not stop repeating themselves like the background static of a radio with poor reception.

He was standing by the doorway, patiently waiting for me.

Under the bright, white lights of our home, his pale complexion stood out even more compared to my own skin.

He was different. He wasn’t bad. He was decent. I was happy enough with him. It was fine. But was it enough?

Was this enough?

Before I could take another step towards him, I paused and looked back over my left shoulder at my mother.

They had already resumed their private conversation filled with smiles and gentle laughter.

I could not tell whether or not I had a smile on my own face.

~ November 5, 2011

"Raise the Red Lantern" (1991)

Director Zhang Yimou makes it easy for the audience to be captivated with the life of a nineteen years old girl who is forced into a world full of schemes, deceit, hatred, and constant battles for attention as she becomes the third concubine of a rich landowner.


The beauty of “Raise the Red Lantern" is that it uses a simple storyline to convey flawlessly the ugliness of human nature and its horrifying and damaging results. It is a film that not only focuses on the atrocious oppression and objectification of women, but also concentrates greatly on the helplessness and vulnerability of those trapped within such a system. “Raise the Red Lantern” does well to describe to the society of China in the 1920s, a society full of traditions, hierarchies, and the need for self preservation.

Song Lian may have had half a year of college education, but that does little to rid her of the dependence on men through family and marriage and to help escape her fate as a woman of the times. Her education may have set her apart from the three other mistresses of Master Chen, but it is simply a feature that poses as a temporary advantage to further entice her master before he grows tired of her company.

Although there may be a social difference between an educated woman and an actress (as in the case with the Third Mistress), as women, there is no difference; the two are both subjected to the same fate. Whatever they do and whatever is done to them is for the sole purpose of serving and pleasing men. A woman is “a piece of clothing” for the man to control when he wants to wear, toss, and destroy that insignificant item.

Yet, women still actively participate in the perpetual struggle for attention, power, and status in order to secure a desirable position in this vicious human food chain to preserve the individual. Song Lian’s independent will and pride of an educated female is broken down as she sheds tears for her surrender to such a life, and eventually she feels the need to lie about her pregnancy as she tries to be calculating like the other mistresses. The exposure of her lie is her failure to fight effectively. It not only leads her to a life of isolation, but also to the destruction of her spirit.

She comes to the conclusion that the endless competition is meaningless; life is meaningless. Everything is simply an act; everything is a lie.

Yet, that is the life you must lead. That is the life that you are forced to lead.

The world of Master Chen and his four mistresses is no different than the dog-eat-dog world that exists outside the walls of their home. There is no security. There is no truth. Those who rebel or fail to obey the valued customs and rules of tradition are ultimately destroyed.

What is human in such a society? It is one step away from being a ghost, and perhaps there is not even a difference.

The last scene of “Raise the Red Lantern” is particularly haunting. Song Lian is at last driven to insanity after she witnesses the murder of the Third Mistress (the punishment for the Third Mistress’ adulterous acts), and she wanders aimlessly inside an enclosed, rectangular area of Master Chen’s household surrounded by brightly lit red lanterns.

She is forever trapped in this place of red lanterns, a place where one man controls all the lives of those inside his walls.

She is forever subjected to lead a life in which she has no control over.

She is to live a life that cannot be claimed as her own.

What is human?

What is life?

The Woes of a Man

Fat man sees small door,
He knows he cannot fit through,
Tears flow freely.

Fat man hears laughter,
Tears run steadily down face,
The girl laughs harder.

Laughter travels far,
Fat man cries even louder,
Sounds of happiness.

Fat man has no hope,
Literally drowns in tears,
Laughter heard on land.

Trapped behind the door,
Nowhere to go, run, or hide,
Woes of a fat man.

The story of a man expressed in Haiku verses - a joint production with a dear friend.

~ October 23, 2011

An Evolving Culture

There have been so many cultural changes simply within the last century, and I do feel that cultural change is an evolutionary process. Nobody in the past would have expected that contemporary culture will be so cyber-focused, but reality has shown that what began as something so rare has expand into something nearly everyone can have some sort of access to the internet.

Who would have thought that social networking would become such an essential part of our lives?

When I first joined Facebook and used Google, I did not anticipate their scale and their impact today. I also feel that when these companies first started, they had not really anticipated this either, regardless of how ambitious they were or what high hopes they held.

Because of their presence and the dynamics of the industries where competition and product innovation have urged on an economic change, we (consumers and commoners) have also actively participated in this process to generate further progress in changing our culture, society, and lives.

Undoubtedly, the world has been changing. It is almost as if we need to actively participate in social networking sites now in order to stay competitive or to simply show that we've "kept up" with the world. I would hate to think that this was a coherent plan of some human mastermind out there, but rather, it was something that has evolved out from different actions, thoughts, and trends of the times.

On a more personal note, I was very against joining Twitter or even posting certain statuses on Facebook because I didn't feel that people really needed or cared about what breakfast I hated that morning. But now I have a Twitter (tweet!), Blogspot, LinkedIn, YouTube, you name it!

How have you seen culture evolve in our world & in your life?

Culture: Something You Have or Do?

A traditional dance performed by a group of dancers from Germany

Culture is not something that we are born with. It doesn't come naturally to us like breathing, but it becomes so influential in our lives that it is almost as natural as breathing and eventually leads us to naturally identify ourselves with it. But, is "culture" something you have or something you do?

Culture is learned, and it is not inborn or instinctive. The most common way of learning is active and repeated participation, and because of this factor, I lean towards saying that “culture” is something that we do.

Considering using "culture" as a verb instead of a noun - "culturing," because it truly is an endless and ongoing activity. As we practice certain customs and follow certain traditions, we are showing others the values that we've learned from a particular culture. Our understanding & expression of our own culture will continue to change and develop based on our thoughts and decisions throughout different stages in life.

"Have" has the connotation that culture is something you can hold on to, that it’s comparable to an object. Since I do think that culture is an ongoing activity, I did not feel that considering it to be an object was fitting to its definition. However, I also realize that culture is something that you can lose. How can you lose something if you didn’t have it in the first place?

Do you feel like culture is something you have or something you do?

The Fall of Tradition

“An Old and Established Name” is a fitting title for such a tale, because it is essentially a life story of the business The Fortune Silk Store.
“The Fortune Silk Store – an old and established name of years standing! – now demeaned itself into employing every kind of trick to rope in customers. Xin Dezhi’s mouth hung so far open in dismay that his face began to look like a dumpling that had split apart while boiling. An old hand, an old and established name, old rules – all had vanished along with Manager Qian, perhaps never to return again. Manager Qian had been very honest and gentlemanly, so much so, in fact, that the Fortune Silk store lost money.”
The business begins as a place that exercises solely on old rules, but as quickly as the leave of its old manager, its old customs are gone. There is a strong focus of the past practices of the Fortune Silk Store as a constant reminder and simply to emphasize how strong and important to these ideals once were. The old and established name was what the store sold; it did not need anything else.

However, because of the external forces of societal and cultural changes, the business cannot carry on to operate as it once did. It must change with the times in order to continue. Everything must change. The arrival of the new manager brings along with him the needed transformation. The old vanishes, and the new takes over. There is no return to the past even if one tries.

The life of The Fortune Silk Store embodies the conflict between the traditional culture and doctrine and the new and foreign western capitalism. The presence of capitalism in the city and in the country brought upon significant cultural change and cultural split in Chinese society in the 1930s. The changes in business operations resulted primarily from the increasing brutal competition and social transformation. There was a great urge to modernize simply to survive in the city, in the country, and in the world.

The demise of the old and established store symbolizes the losing battle of tradition against modernization. No matter how hard tradition fought, it cannot compete with the new, and ultimately, it will be overpowered. Honesty and simplicity can no longer guarantee survival; only facades and deceits can ensure a position in the new world.

Lao She’s “An Old and Established Name” is a direct representation of the struggles and failures in preserving the tradition in a new society as well as a clear representation of the conflicting inner turmoil of those helplessly affected by their surrounding environment.

"An Old and Established Name" (1936)

“An Old and Established Name” by Lao She depicts the striking contrast between an old, traditional society and a new, modern society during a constantly changing and competitive time. The story follows Xin Dezhi, a senior apprentice of operations in the Fortune Silk Store, as he witnesses the change from the honest Manager Qian, to the hustler Manager Zhou, and back to Manager Qian, and concludes with the final fate of the Fortune Silk Store.

Told from the perspective of a side character, the focus is not on the change in personnel of the business, but rather the audience is drawn into the business and its transformations through the protagonist’s earnest response on the subject matter. Lao She clearly illustrates the value of a person experiencing continuous emotional waves and survival difficulties.

Without a doubt, the thoughts and emotions of Xin Dezhi makes the story most intriguing. Throughout the whole ordeal, he never once abandons his ideals of maintaining and valuing the traditional culture, morals, and doctrines. Although he cannot refute the fact that Manager Zhou’s management can prosper the business, he cannot bring himself to fully admire and accept such new ways of doing things. He observes that in order to make money, one has to be a “combination magician and burlesque comedian.”

When Manager Qian returns and the store is back to the way that it was in the past, Xin Dezhi readily welcomes the reversion because he truly loves the good times that the store once had. Even as reality and fate finally arrives at the Fortune Silk Store & it can no longer escape their hands, Xin Dezhi comforts Manager Qian with tears in his eyes to not to worry.

As sorrowful as it is to witness the gradual dismiss of his beloved old values all the while knowing deep in his heart that the past cannot be recovered, Xin Dezhi held on as long as he could to the shattered bits and pieces until the new inevitably took over.

"To Live" (1994)

“To Live,” a film directed by Yimou Zhang, follows the life of a man and his family as they are forced to adapt constantly in order to survive the drastic transformations that China undergoes during a short period of thirty years. The powerful presentation style along with the sorrowful plot filled with countless sufferings and obstacles effectively captivate the audience through the truthful depiction of people’s living conditions at the time. Such a film deserves recognition because it successfully illustrates the adversity and injustice throughout history and exemplifies universal themes that trigger the deeply rooted emotions residing within the human heart.

Fugui began as a stubborn, spoiled, and privileged man, and solely from his own doing, he loses everything that had given his family the high status that he used to frequently exploit. Yet, it is because of this seemingly terrible loss in becoming ordinary citizens that allows him and his family to follow the strong and unpredictable currents produced by the rise of the revolution and that ultimately grants them survival thereafter.

Viewers follow intensely to witness exactly how much Fugui must endure and how far he must bend his character simply to live – to live under constant anxiety, fear, and pressure. The tension remains for the rest of the movie, and there is no lasting, dependable source of relief. However, life does not stop for the person, and people must move on with life nonetheless. The arguably sole source of comfort is in the person’s ability to survive and remain resilient. Such is the pain and the inescapable living conditions forced upon people due to the radical political changes.

The challenges in Fugui’s life demonstrate the many different yet common and significant values for people, such as the importance of family, the devastation and repercussions of loss, and the power of love. They draw upon deep emotions in order to build a substantial connection and relationship by making the characters’ lives relatable to the external party. There is a strong sense of empathy from the audience because of the great focus on family unity and individual as well as family survival. In spite of all the tragedies, people can remain strong and endure the hardships thrown at them, for we cannot give in so easily. Humans are adaptable creatures, and in time, we learn to live with the sorrow and pain that mold and shape us into who we are today.

“To Live” truly is a movie that not only touches, but digs deep into the issues of the heart. Its realistic representation of the significant political events and their effects on mere citizens speak volumes about people’s mentality and approach towards life.

“To Live” is a movie for those who want to experience and witness how people deal with the complicated emotions that come with unexpected turmoil that arise in life.

Fresh Continuation

Everyone talks about having a fresh start - well this time, it's going to be my fresh continuation.

A new quarter has started, and this time, I am enrolled in 4 classes that require me to share some intense discussion and analysis on all sorts of reading and media materials! Certainly brings back some memories as to how this particular blog got started.

So, here I am, once again, asking you to be patient with me, and follow me in my journey -
this time through late 19th Century - early 20th Century British literature, modern Chinese literature, & contemporary business anthropology.

Enjoy!

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As usual, a simple disclaimer:
I must say that I truly mean no offense with what I will say. I understand that I may touch upon sensitive subjects, and I will try to be as careful as I can. I do not mean to attack or insult anyone out there. Please consider my commentaries with a carefree spirit~

You & Your Words

You said that if you had known,
you would have never let it happen.

You said that if you had been there,
you would have protected me and that
you would have stopped them from doing those cruel things to me.

You said that you would have saved me from the harm that I suffered when
I was vulnerable.

But no one was crueler than you.
All you did was feed me empty lies and meaningless words.

You put my hand to the fire and assured me that
I would not be burnt.

You put a knife in my hand and assured me that
I had the power to control such a strong weapon.
Never again would it make me bleed.

You threw me on the field and forced me to run and chase after the things
you aimed at me and assured me that
my endurance will only build.
What doesn’t kill me will only make me stronger.

No one can compare to you and what you have done.
All these meaningless words that you’ve force-fed me and that I naively consumed.

You left me alone on the streets in the cold to chase after empty cars.
You left me defenseless and abandoned.

You left me with nothing.

You left me nothing but your words and the images of you replaying over and over again in my mind.
They had already taken over my being and replaced my heart with what you’ve left in me.

I may not remember their faces, but I will always remember you,

Your countenance, your cruelness,
Your ugliness, your heartlessness,
Your evilness, your emptiness,

You and your meaningless words.

They were not the worst in my life.


You are.

~ May 17, 2011

From the Bottom of Someone's Broken Heart

There’s only two types of guys out there,
the ones that can hang with me and ones that are scared.
So come here, a little closer,
I want to whisper in your ear,
I was born to make you happy,
‘cause you’re the only one within my heart.

That’s the way our lives should be.

I want to believe in everything that you say,
‘cause it sounds so good.
I never knew love till there was you.
There’s nowhere I’d rather be.

If you love me, trust in me the way that I trust in you.

There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do.
That’s not the way I planned it.

Boy you’ve got me blinded.

You drive me crazy.
You’re toxic, I’m slipping under.
I’m a slave for you.
I’m addicted to you, don’t you know that
You’re toxic?

Baby, you spin me around.
The Earth is moving, but I can’t feel the ground.
Every time you look at me, my heart is jumping,
it’s easy to see.
And to lose all my senses, that is just
so typically me.

Every time I see
you in my dreams, I see your face,
it’s haunting me.

I guess I need you baby.

All I really want is to hold you tight, treat you right,
be with you day and night,
because you feel like paradise and I need a vacation tonight.

Show me how you want it to be,
tell me baby ‘cause I need to know now,
if there’s nothing missing in my life then why do tears come at night?

I’ve been waiting for so long it hurts.

How was I to know I’d miss you so?

I need to hear you say, you need me all the way.

So, baby if you love me,
please
don’t let me be the last to know.

~ May 11, 2011

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This piece was written by purely using the lyrics from various Britney Spears' songs: Baby One more Time, Circus, Don't Let Me Be the Last to Know, Every time, From the Bottom of My Broken Heart, Hold it Against Me, I'm a Slave 4 You, Opps I Did it Again, Sometimes, Toxic, & You Drive Me Crazy.

Precious Love

My dear, where have you been
all my life?
Time is being wasted when you are not with me and if only
time can stop when you are by my side.

Darling, don’t you know how precious you are to me? You are the
apple of my eye.
My love, come over here already so that we can begin
our lives together, from
now on and forever will we live in happiness and love.

Wouldn’t life be so precious then?

~ May 12, 2011

Only You

Just because
of who you are and
how you live your life,
never had I admired someone so much that

the simple thought of you brings a smile to my face.

Never had I been so enamored with someone who I barely know, and

this is all because of

you.

Deep inside, I know that this will never last, but
every time I feel like breaking down, only you can cure me of my pain and

save me from the cruelty of reality.

Please let me see you a little longer, and

please, let me stay in this dream with you a little longer.

~ May 12, 2011

Senseless

Watch as the needle punctures through that first layer of skin,
as it goes deeper and deeper before it is slowly drawn out.
The flow of crimson follows the path down to the lines of love and life,
covering them with a thick, dense painting of the various shades of red.

Feel as the water fills your lungs and weighs your soul forward.
Feel its heavy movements as it works with gravity to force your body down
to give into the earth.
Feel as it consumes all of you, so heavy that there can be no release,
only the silent escapes that will do nothing but blur your vision.

Listen as the loud screeches continue to pierce your eardrums.
No matter how desperately you may try to protect yourself, to cover yourself, or
to recoil your body to save yourself,
there is no stopping to this sharp, loud, perpetuating pain.

Can’t you taste the residuals from your torture rushing out?

Doesn’t that vile smell of your slow demise repulse you?

If only senses could be controlled.

If only senses could be stopped.

What life would be if only it was senseless.

but.

isn’t it already?

~ May 2, 2011

Master Schemer

You walked in and called me out by name,
like you knew I would respond and follow you.
You knew what I would do.
You knew what I would say when you wanted my body and my mind.
You knew exactly what you were doing.

You, master schemer, you.
Knowing that everything is under your control.
One day, I will have a surprise waiting for you,
and we’ll see what you’ll do then.

You watch me like a puppeteer with his marionette.
My strings are in your hands.
Your words follow me around the stage.
All the while your silent laughter sounds from where you stand,
laughing as I act out your beloved play.

Master schemer, you.
Thinking that everything is under your control.
Your words your weapons, your strength your shield.
One day, someone will conquer this world you’ve built,
and we’ll see what you’ll do then.

You are the destroyer. You are the redeemer.
You built this up only to take it down,
to heal only to wound once more,
so that no victims of yours can escape.

You, master schemer, you.
Believing that everything is under your control.
One day, the world will take everything away,
and just you wait,
we’ll see what you’ll do then.

~ April 25, 2011

Let me go. Set me free.

Unchain me.
Release me.
Free me from these binds.

Rip me apart.
Tear me up.
See what I’m made of.

Let me go.
Set me free.
I want to finally breathe again.

Yell. Hit. Shout.
Do what you will.

Hoping no longer suffices.
Fighting no longer makes sense.

All I’m asking for is an end.

Stop this pain.
End this hurt.
All I want is to be able to live again.

I’ll give in.
I’ll surrender.
I’ll do what you want me to.

Just release this hold you have on me, and
let me go.

Set me free.

~ April 24, 2011

InFlames

You will be the ashes on the floor,
the broken leaves abandoned on the ground,
the dirt left by the door.

You’ll be a bridge I got to burn.

You will be the blood dripping from my veins,
the tears I wipe away,
the pain I try to hide in vain.

You’re just a bridge I got the burn.

Floating in a sea of red,
all I want is to see -
to see more intention,
to see more passion,
to see more extermination.

You are just a bridge I got to burn.

You are the doll I locked away,
the witch dying on the stake,
the wall we got to break.

You are a bridge I got to burn.

Simply-
burn.
burn.
burn.

You are just a bridge I got to burn.

~ April 14, 2011

Summer's Presence

Summer is here when the calendar shows the date – June 1st.

Summer is here when schools finally announce their last day, their last hour, their last minute of the school year, and their students rush out shouting in joy, throwing their backpacks in random directions, and running to their friends’ homes to play games.

Summer is here when fields and fields of flowers rise up to greet the sun with bright smiles and take in the fresh dew resting on their petals.

Summer is here when the sky is left with nothing but a beautiful soft shade of blue and the round yellow yoke of the sun.

Summer is here when birds begin their nonstop chatter too early in the morning that carries onto the evening where crickets take their baton and begin their own version of singing.

Summer is here when you realize that you can no longer get SAD, but instead you get CHASED – Constantly Hyper-Active, Senseless, & Energetic Disorder.

Summer is here when little children run to follow the sweet melody of an ice-cream truck, only to have their delicious treats melt all over their pudgy hands and newly washed T-shirts as the ice-cream man drives away.

Summer is here when teenagers cram themselves into small cars to find an escape from the summer heat, only to arrive at the beach and receive no release whatsoever from the nonexistent wind.

Summer is here when you desperately try to cool yourself off in front of an opened refrigerator and roll pieces of ice down your arms, because you can’t take off anymore clothes and you feel as if you’re a crab in a boiling pot.

Summer is here when people who have not yet let go of their youth run around in the parks at midnight to play tag with their friends.

Summer is here when you can sit peacefully on your balcony with a glass of cold lemonade and lean back against your wooden chair to see the night sky.

Summer is here when you finally acknowledge its presence and existence, and you can longingly say at last –

“You are Here.”

~ May 17, 2010

The Temptation of Light

I rush towards the door,
unexpectedly eager to see the wonders of this world,
so very tempted by the rays of light
seeping
through its bottom.

The fast passing of two entities is ever so ordinary, ever so insignificant.
Like a quick, stolen glance that holds no meaning.

A hesitating step takes me into a world of wonders.

So foreign. So strange.
I can see the delicate, mystic melody floating in the air.
Its harmony echoing softly through the fields.
I follow its movement easily and dance along quietly with my fingers.

From that moment I knew.
That one,
simple glance was enough.
Brief but plenty.
It was a glimpse of happiness,
an escape of
daylight.

So colorful. So vibrant.
The flowers dance and rejoice around me.
I can feel their joyous celebration.
I can hear their cheers and laughter echoing in my ears.

Isn’t it so much better here?

So beautiful. So safe and comforting,
compared to before.

I have
fallen
in love with this fantasy.

How I want to dedicate my life to this world,
this land of light.

How eager I am to choose this life.

I cannot help but to embrace this cold, hard surface beneath my feet.

~ April 9, 2011

Down that Familiar Hole

Down, down, down.
To plunge into the hole.
To be immersed with the surrounding darkness.
To witness everything else falling alongside me.
Down, down, down.
To leave the world I know behind.
To feel the rush of ecstasy from entering a realm unknown.
To let the butterflies residing within me free and live at last.

How my stomach starts to turn and rushes out of my mouth,
to spill my guts, to spill my unease, to spill my needs, to spill myself, to spill my pain.

To imagine that people actually yearn for this rush,
this exhilarating feeling of being on a roller coaster ride,
this constant cycle of keeping yourself on your toes.

I cannot possibly understand. I am only forced to understand and be pulled into their world.

The more resistance, the greater the tension.

I can feel the gravity pulling my body apart.
Must I give in? Must I simply let go and allow this to take me where it wants?
Down, down, down.
My vision gone. My voice lost. My mind mad.
The impact too strong. Its effects too great.
I don’t feel like myself anymore.
Down, down, down.
Such a long journey that I’ve been forced to travel.
Let it stop.
Please let it end.
So far down..
I suppose I like the feel of this cold air,
those consuming shadows,
and the empty space.
Let me stay here.
Leave me be.
As I try to look up to see where I once began to fall into the hole,
the last speck of light is gone.

~ April 4, 2011

I Have

I have a peach on the table.

I have a hat sitting on a rack.

I have a spoon buried in my bag of chips.

I have a roll of tissue to help me through the day.

I have a pair of hands my mother desires.

I have a mind that my father wanted.

I have the flaws that my imaginary sister will never have.

I have legs that do not want to run on the streets.

I have the fears that my make-believe brother does not fear.

I have a candle sinking in a bowl of water.

I have a penguin that does not waddle.

I have a circle with no center, like a doughnut with no filling.

I have a pair of jeans that cannot be worn.

I have skin too tan to see the sun.

I have a snail that is burning from the salt.

I have a stone waiting for the waves,

waiting for the waves to tear its parts away and to lose them in the violent seas.

I have a pile of money buried underground.

I have road signs placed on every corner.

I have a list of people I’m dying to meet.

I have a rocket ready to fly into space.

I have

nothing.

~ February 6, 2010