You're SO typical!

"You’re such a typical _____." What do you think when someone says that to you? Do you feel proud, ashamed, or angry?

Here is a snippet of a conversation I shared with an acquaintance some time ago.

Me: Yeah, I like pink.
He said: I should have known.
Me: What does that mean?
He said: Nothing =)

<some time later>

Me: My favorite Disney movie is Cinderella.
He said: I knew it.
Me: What? What do you mean “you knew it”?
He said: You’re such a typical girl.
Me: What does that have to do with anything?
He said: Nothing, it’s just who you are.

Hold it right there. I don’t know about you, but I certainly was not very happy at this point. This came from a person that I barely knew, and I was pretty offended. I probably knew him for at most 3 weeks when I had this conversation with him, and I only saw him for one class that was held two days a week.

I don’t think that he had a right to judge me so quickly; he didn’t even know who I am! I’m not a “typical” girl. I am completely clueless on how to do makeup, how to dress in style, how to sew, how to cook, or how to clean – not that these are bad qualities; I’m just not as blessed with such skills as others. (Goodness, I’m starting to sound a little like Mike, huh? Perhaps I should join a “Women Anonymous”?)

The only things he knew about me at this point were that I like cute things, I happen to like pink (even though my favorite color is white), and I like the Disney movie Cinderella. He calls me “typical” solely based on these facts. Isn’t that jumping a little too quickly to conclusions?

The word “typical” has such a negative connotation. “He’s such a typical man. She’s a typical woman. They’re the typical jocks.” I am not sure if I’m being pessimistic, but those sentences do not sound like compliments. Perhaps it is because my perception of a “typical woman” differed from his assumptions. In a way, I feel that this phrase puts down my self-worth and categorizes me as a girl who simply likes shiny things, love at first sight, cooking, and cleaning. I could very well call him a “typical man” for calling me a “typical girl.”

I admit that I do have certain qualities and like certain things that most people would consider to be feminine attributes. Given a different context and perhaps a different person, I may not have been as offended. I am not active, completely incompetent in sports, dislikes competition and aggression, and extremely emotionally sensitive.

Perhaps you would argue that I am a “typical” girl, but I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be put in a group based solely on some of the things that I do, because that is only a part of me and the whole of me. It is not my true identity. It is not who I am and how I would want to define myself.

“Typical” is a word that promotes assumptions, and assumptions do not lead to positive outcomes. When people do not share the same ideas and generalizations, damaged is caused. We do not like to be categorized. We like to think of ourselves as unique individuals.

We want to be recognized. We want to be heard. We want to be seen.

We want to shine.

We do not want to be “typical.”

Do you?