Communication Style

I am sure that most people share a common belief that men and women communicate differently. Most of the time we see women as the sex that need to talk their feelings out in order to express themselves and need verbal reassurance. Word are equally as important as words. We are also often led to believe that men tend to hold on to their thoughts and preserve a “manly” and “strong” image.

I recently came across a Youtube video titled “Men Anonymous.” It is about a man named Mike who feels helpless and powerless with his lifestyle as a man who can’t take care of himself, which causes him to seek help. This is Step 1. He has to go through 12 steps to complete his “training.” In Step 2 and the rest of the 12 steps, he and other men from his support group have a coach who teaches them the “proper” ways of communication, namely with females. It is a very entertaining way to show just how different and difficult it is to adapt a new communication style.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qy4j_A57M5k

I’ll share Step 2 right now. The coach, who is dealing with a group of men trying to master the ways of communication, speaks to the men with a blunt, direct tone. She goes straight into the point and gives short commands. That is the assumed communication style that men respond to. She adapts this man-like behavior or that of an authority figure, so that they will understand her and obediently follow her directions.

The beginning of Step 2 shows Mike doing an exercise where he is having a proper and “good” talk session with his coach posing to be his girlfriend or partner. The point is for Mike to provide his girlfriend reassurance of who she is, to admit to her that he respects her, and verbally state his support for her. He uses expressive adjectives and verbs in his speech to communicate emotions, a style that women tend to have rather than men. His coach comments, while using what Mike did as an example, that women will consider this as “genuine emotion” and “feeling real.” This video portrays female communication as a method to connect to each other and to work through together without caring for a particular outcome.

We see the second pair with two men. Expressing feelings verbally does not come directly to them. However, playing and being competitive with each other is their form of bonding. They become friends much faster and naturally than through speech. It is a more physical and less serious form of communication.